COLDSTREAMERS MESSAGE BOARD

mumbai

k.s.lister — Thur, 04 Dec 2008 19:09:13 GMT

just got back from mumbai,nice place but the murder mystery weekend was a bit over the top.

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

stalking john needham

tara snelling — Thur, 04 Dec 2008 18:17:57 GMT

looking for my long lost love john needham. could anybody tell me where he is?. after munster in 95 he left me with a broken heart and collar bone.

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Colly address.

Col Bass — Thur, 04 Dec 2008 17:56:14 GMT

Hello gents, well I took my nephew down to the local Nick and he is now being processed.... Ta muchly for all those who gave me the advice that I already knew, but needed to hear it from others before I did the deed.

I know need the full postal address of Colly......

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Run Keano Run.

powell — Thur, 04 Dec 2008 11:53:28 GMT

good news, the coward cant handle the pressure now lets get big Sam and support him.

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Christmas Dinner

dex halliwell — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:43:56 GMT

Dear all,

I have 3 spare places at my home on Christmas day for any one with no family to go to for lunch and tea if they would like it.

Dex

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

ShinyCapstar Update 03Dec08 (inc Gold Watch Presentations)

shinycapstar — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:32:54 GMT

SITE UPDATE NEWS: 03 December 2008

1. Battalion Update:
The Battalion have recently been involved in many exercises including TESSEX, read about it here.

2. LSGC Presentation:
A member of the Battalion was recently awarded his Long Service & Good Conduct Medal, read about it here.

3. State Opening of Parliament Rehearsals:
Out of TESSEX Combats and into Glory Order for rehearsals, read about it here.

4. 22 Year Gold Watch Presentaion:
18 Members of the Regiment were recently awarded their Gold Watch for 22 Years Service with the Colours, read about it here.

5. Future Events:
Future events for the festive period, read about it here.

6. Second to None - A FANTASTIC FREE READ:
More chapters from this remarkable book (chapters 1 - 10 now available) are now online, read more here ...

7. Looking for Older News?
If you are looking for OLDER NEWS see the archive section at the top of this page.

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Very Special Catterick Pass-out

macboro — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:06:06 GMT

Gentlemen,
             Our Hon. Sec Manny Cook arranged for members of the Branch to visit Catterick on Friday the 28th Nov. The last Pass-out in 2008
It was quite a special day, the first time two Squads of Trainee Gdsn. had passed out on the same day and the first time they had passed out in Greatcoat Order.
This event not only attracted over 400 members of their family's but a great number of senior Brigade members, including Col. Foot Guards, The Brigade Major and The GSM Bill Mott.
   We had a brilliant day in excellent company, a day that made you proud to be a Coldstreamer. Plus a day when our Sec. was honoured with a presentation by the Brigade Major, for attending every Pass-out during the last three years. The link to the report is here.
                             Best Regards, Mac
http://www.coldstreamguards-boro.org/page3htm.htm

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

'Woolies' Sale

macboro — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:18:12 GMT

Gentlemen,
              Just been informed that here in sunny Redcar, 'Woolies' are having a Xmas Sale.
       Advent Cards are half price, but the windows are 'Boarded Up' and
somebody has 'nicked' the chocolate's.

   Although it could be worse, at least I can look out of my front window and wave at all the 'Monkey Hangers' across the water.
TJ, I will send you a pic so you don't feel lonely at Xmas.
     The Branch took the Standard to the 'Pool' for Remembrance Sunday,
very good day and they left the gates open for us to get home.

                                Best Regards, Mac

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Saturday Drink Up

Norman Davison — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:35:48 GMT

Kev,Shaun,Rob and Nicky thanks for an enjoyable drink up in the Toon, had a hoot, cheers. will do it again when next home. Good to see you also Kev Stott. Cheers Lads.

Regards
The Sexy Mackem
Norman Davison

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Anyone seen this before?

Mark Alston — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:36:35 GMT

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

IT WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
HE LIVED ALL ALONE
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE
AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE
NO TINSEL NO PRESENTS NOT EVEN A TREE
NO STOCKING BY THE MANTLE JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES AWARDS OF ALL KINDS
A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT IT WAS DARK AND DREARY
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING SILENT ALONE
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER
NOT HOW I PICTURED A LONE BRITISH SOLDIER
WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO THE FLOOR FOR A BED

I REALISED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT
SOON ROUND THE WORLD THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY

THEY ALL ENJOY FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER HOW MANY ALONE
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME

THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE
'SANTA DON'T CRY THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM I DON'T ASK FOR MORE
MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY. MY CORPS'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT I CONTINUED TO WEEP

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SAT AND SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHTS CHILL
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ON THAT COLD DARK NIGHT
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOUR SO WILLING TO FIGHT

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE
WHISPERED 'CARRY ON SANTA ITS CHRISTMAS DAY ALL IS SECURE'
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT'

THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN BY A PEACE KEEPING SOLDIER STATIONED OVERSEAS

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Have a laugh at Women

Mark Alston — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:56:19 GMT

Just a few things about women you all should know. Sent to me but its far too late for me now. Wish I had read these a long time ago.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?

1) Internet

2) Telephone

3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

How is a woman like a condom?

Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick

What should you give a woman who has everything?

A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?

Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why do women fake orgasms ?

Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have
you done wrong?

Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass wind more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

Women will never be equal to men...

Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are Sexy

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Quiz Result

macboro — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:15:58 GMT

Gentlemen,

We are delighted to report that 25 Coldstreamers took part in our first monthly Quiz.

Because internet search can be conflicting, we decided we would use the answers supplied by British Libraries.

We were prepared to have a draw to find a winner from multiple correct entries,

In-fact there was only one correct competitor.

Most mistakes where on Ques. 1 & 5

Ques. One in what year was dynamite invented?

It was invented by Nobel in 1866 and patented in 1867

Ques Two The plan for the US Ninth Army to cross the River Rur/Roer in 1945 was given what operational name

Grenade was the correct answer,

The code name Red Sea was given to the holding of the whole of the River

The correct answers are as following

1 1866

2 Chickamauga

3 Britnoth

4 HMS Nautilus

5 Grenade

6 Abu Bakr

7 Single-minded League

8 Zela

9 Blue Jacket

10 1700

Gentlemen we a pleased to announce the winner of the November Quiz was

John Guest, we shall contact John and forward his prize and put his Photo on our Front Page as Coldstream Brain of the Month.

Our next quiz will be in January and will be all Coldstream orientated.

Many thanks for all your support.

Best Regards, Mac

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

Drink/social London Saturday 31st January.

Colin Carr — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:54:42 GMT

Gentlemen,

there is a small get together arranged for Saturday 31st January 2008 in London.

Exact location and time to be confirmed to suit the masses.

Full details here: http://en-gb.facebook.com/event.php?eid=35638989385

Look forward to seeing some of you there!!

Thanks

Colin

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

F.A.0. Michael Lidster Esq.

knessie — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:48:52 GMT

:eek::eek::cry::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:Mick,have the mighty Leeds progressed to the next round of the
F.A.Challenge Cup?I take it,it was but a mere formality as they were only playing lowly non-league Histon?

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD

New Ferrari pit crew

Pablo — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:08:57 GMT

The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday.

The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's "Work for your Dole" scheme and employ some Liverpudlian
youngsters.

The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment whereas Ferrari's existing crew could
only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for!

At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for eight cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Alonso's bird in the shower!

Forum: 2008 COLDSTREAMERS GENERAL MESSAGE BOARD