Tell us your JOURNEY!

I Still Feel

rememberjp — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:07:08 GMT

I Its been a little over a year and half since my by brother JP died .I still ask sometimes who missing when I count people for our family pictures or get together. I still cant believe what great person we lost, I still get angry at myself for not being their in his last moments of his life. I still cry and I still feel the pain.

Florida Bill Boards are going up in Polk County in mid July 2008 one says prescription drugs Killed us with 4 people on it shows the website for www.Rxdrugdeaths.com which is has a petition on it for drug monitoring system , drug reports ,guest book and lot more .
This ones about methadone and has HARMD (Helping America Reduce Methadone deaths ) Webstie on it www.harmd one pill can kill ,methadone kills

By the Grace of God Go I

Becca — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:45:58 GMT

Being involved with the recovery community or in recovery yourself, you have probably either said this phrase or at the very least heard it.

I remember when I first started hearing it I thought, Yes! I know that grace is the only reason that I am here! But then sometimes I would hear in meetings - that so and so relapsed, "but by the grace of God go I. I would think to myself, Yeah thats true, but why did that happen to them? I had begun to question the legitimacy of that statement. It came to a head when a female, who had been a resident in the program I worked in at the time, was reportedly found dead in her apartment. She had allegedly been in another relapse. That was obviously troubling, all deaths are, but that wasnt what troubled me the most. What really got me, was that she had reportedly died in an upright position beside her bed, on her knees in a prayer posture". The more that image came into my mind, the angrier I became. I thought, So what about grace God?!! Where was her grace? What did she do to not deserve the grace? Better yet, what did I do to get it? Anger and guilt... was about all that was in me for several days. This was one time I didnt want to talk about it with anyone else. I just wanted to understand and I wanted that answer to come from my own Creator. One day it happend. A very clear thought entered into my mind... What made me think that what happened to her wasnt grace? I mean, who was I to say what grace was or was not. This particular female, I knew to have a history of chronic relapse. I had been told, from some people who had known her for a long time, that they had believed she was one of the unfortunates referred to in the Big , that was incapable of being honest with her self.

So, how did grace apply to her? Well, what came to me was this -- She had reportedly suffered most of her life with addiction and the inability to stay clean. What if, in that prayerful position, God as she understood Him... gave her grace and relieved her of her suffering? It was difficult for me to grasp that initially, but as years have passed, I have come to believe that this was true. It is just so easy to put God into a box and define Him in strict terms with many boundaries. In reality, I believe my Creator to be infinite, endless and without boundaries. Like a lot of people, one might think that prison would not be an answer to prayer, but I have talked to hundreds of inmates who would say with utter conviction... that indeed it was an answer to prayer and that they would be dead if it had not happened! I have talked to many a homeless person, who once had numerous possessions in their life, only to loose it all, including their families, due to their addiction. Those same people would look me in the eye and would also say with great conviction, Im so grateful for that, because I wouldnt be where I am today if it had not have happened.

In my own life I have heard those very words come out of my own mouth, when someone would say, I cant believe you can be so happy after all that stuff happened. But you know what? I truely am happy and I am, (strange as it sounds), greatful for every single thing that has happend in my life...because all those things lead me to reach out to a Power greater than me Who posessed sufficient grace to give me the life that I enjoy so much today.

So in conclusion, I found that grace is a word without boundaries and it comes in many forms. Why grace is one way for one person and a totally different way for another... Well, I think that is just Gods business. (RB)

New Life

Lisanoel — Fri, 30 May 2008 02:10:49 GMT

Hope for an new future
Built from a troubled past
Though I fear with every breath I take
That this journey will not last
The deeper I seek into my soul
The harder I find I cannot let go
My maker has finally shown his face
Yet still I have such doubt
Do I deserve forgiveness?
To you my heart pours out
Hear my cries
Wipe my tears
Hold my heart
Cast out my fears
Dear Lord, I pray from the botton o my soul
help me on this journey, to relinquish my control
I want to know your word, the promises
your people believe
I want to know I am worthy
That your desires I can achieve
So lead me now, down the path
of rightousness and truth
That I may now walk with confidence
in a newfound life with you.

Beyond the Pain

Lisanoel — Fri, 30 May 2008 01:38:07 GMT

Forgiveness of sins
For a better tomorrow
When I choose to hold on
I only know sorrow
The prince of peace just wants me to know
As I have held on
He has let go
There are dreams left to fill
That can only be complete
If I hold on to forgiveness
And let go of defeat
He's witness to my journey
Through lifes long treasured path
He'll hold on to my struggles
All I have to do is ask
He'll walk me through each moment
Each time I feel in need
Beyond the pain is beauty
All I have to do is believe
He may not show his face
but as long as I know his name
I'll never stop receiving
All the wonders beyond all the pain

THE ONLINE JOURNEY COMMUNITY IS COMING SOON! Please join us!

CharlieG — Sat, 24 May 2008 21:23:43 GMT

We are striving to become a World Wide Recovery Community - right here!

It's all in the JOURNEY is about to become an interactive online community! In 2 or 3 weeks you will see a whole new look at our home page!

Look for the door on the right of the page & just click on it, or one of the mailboxes that will also be there (To join, for directories, contact info, submittimg stories/articles, etc..), enter and sign up to become a member of the JOURNEY Community!
You will be able to have your own page to personalize - post stories, blogs, pictures, videos, etc...
Add friends, make friends, leave comments on their pages,
Start your own group or forum.

Our Detox&Treatment, Recovery Residence, Professional and Help & Support Directories will still be here,
You will still be able to download and read each issue of JOURNEY,
And we will still pick one story or article to publish each issue.
Plus! We are also going to highlight one member's page in each issue of JOURNEY!
Please join, tell your friends, and help us make this community a reality!

peace
Charlie G

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUPS

Tish4naranon2 — Sat, 24 May 2008 20:48:42 GMT

Hello!

I'm not sure if the "It's All In the JOURNEY" magazine is welcoming the support groups for the friends and families of addicts (NAR-ANON), so I'll just throw that question out on your forum and see what you think. Do you want to hear about the journey taken by the friends and families or is this forum just for the addict?

Either way, I would like to request that our information be placed on the Help and Support Link under "Anonymous Links." www.nar-anon.org
Couldn't find a link for the "webmaster," so please let him/her know that a request for inclusion is being submitted.

Wishing you all a lifetime of recovery and progress.

Tish
A Grateful Nar-Anon Member

poetry submission

tech1327 — Mon, 19 May 2008 02:32:11 GMT

Truth walks through walls perceived unbreakable
Washes away doubt, renders it untraceable
Upon a butcher's block, fears are laid out
Like a piece of meat getting chopped up, sent on, eaten down and forgotten about
Prayers sent up, and unbeknownst to you
Answers come promptly as bills past due
A seed of interest watered, cared for becomes a tiny tree
In fertile soil, on solid ground, will grow taller than eyes can see
Imperfection glorifies God's protection
If He wills it, it's done, so I joined the Connection
I love you I love you
(silence)
I breathe in, breathe out, inhale your soul, and it touches mine, this is divine.

poetry submission "Now has Won"

tech1327 — Mon, 19 May 2008 02:17:52 GMT

New twist rapes an old memory
Fangs in my neck, it's venom inside me
I loathe the eternity of this gruesome dark past
Yet long for it also, mind drawn to it fast.
I don't know it's name, her specialty is pain
"Feed on me as I suffer in the throes of your game."
"Oh God!" I feel sick. The poison is deep.
One waits for me anticipating a promise I must keep
Enticing young lust, give me more of your fire
Even after you've swiped away all my heart's desires
You left me with nothing but shame and remorse
Saw the trap, knew the outcome, yet I followed your course.
Today is beautiful, yesterday is done
Tomorrow uncertain, the now has won.

poetry submission

tech1327 — Mon, 19 May 2008 02:09:00 GMT

A sweet cool breeze blows
Across the night sky through my nose to curl my toes
Joy winding up inside me like a tightly wound spring
It can't get any better than this
And then I hear the crickets chirping
Life
Inside, outside, all around
I'm in love
Peace rains from above by the One who created Love
Life
In perfect harmony with creation
Sends a shock wave across all the nations
Can one man change the world?
Love is contagious
There is no man more powerful than one who derives strength from his Creator, for the Creator lives in all of us.
It's only between you and Him anyway.

restoration. a short poem

luke — Sun, 18 May 2008 18:52:26 GMT

shattered pieces of me
in a pile on the floor
they wouldn't return
to the way of childhood. . .

I tried to make them be
the way it was before
could I never,ever learn
to be somebody good?

Through an old mans's eyes I see
a need for something more,
a passion that will burn
a new and open door.

I lost my innocence
by the way I led my life
what can I now reclaim
from this rubble and this strife?

I pray to you my God,
who they say can make anew,
a dark man such as I,
or a victim such as you.

Help me find your face
and not just seek your hand,
give me eyes like a child,
so I may regrow this man.

And when this man matures
and this fire I withstand,
I'll come into your arms
and I'll be whole again.

Awesome New Technology Helps Addicts!

GeoffCole — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:20:51 GMT

AMAZING NEW TECHNOLOGY HELPS ADDICTS ACHIEVE SHORT AND LONG TERM SOBRIETY

Greg was doing everything right when he relapsed again - attending AA meetings six or seven times a week, speaking with his sponsor every day, reading the Big Book, and doing his best at prayer and meditation. After three 28-30 day in-patient programs in less than two years, he couldnt understand why he downed yet another bottle of vodka.

Now hes found the explanation for his relapses: His brain is like the worlds largest convention center, with committee meetings in every room; when I cant silence the committees, I just blow-up the whole damn building.

Recently Greg was able to see in real time what was happening in his brain. Parts of his brain had so much activity that they looked like a combination of the Super Bowl and the last game of the World Series combined, reported Geoff Cole of Brain Training Centers of Florida.

In-patient treatment, working the Twelve Steps and actively participating in AA had given Greg valuable tools, but they didnt allow him to quiet his own brain, said Cole. It was the committee meetings that were driving him to drink.

By performing a 16-point electroencephalogram (EEG) assessment of Gregs brain using computer programs and equipment developed by Brain State Technologies of Scottsdale, Arizona, Cole was able to pinpoint specific areas that were just out of control. There was no way that Greg could will them to be quiet. The only way he could achieve some internal relief was to blow up the building to drink until his brain would just collapse for a while.

Brain Training Centers (BTC) uses highly sophisticated EEGs to provide real time neuro-biofeedback, designed to help the brain establish balance homeostasis among all of the areas of the brain. Cole uses the image of a rubber glove in which different areas are over- or under-inflated. Were attempting to encourage the brain to move the energy around and balance itself. The BTC computers design personalized and very specific sound programs. When the brain receives these sounds - energy signals - as the client sits quietly in a comfortable chair, the brain attempts to mirror or mimic what it hears affecting a change in energy levels in targeted areas.

Although this extremely sophisticated process is only a few years old, theyve been having almost miraculous results serving people with a wide range of issues, including addiction, notes Cole. Many people, especially those who cant quiet the committee meetings in their heads, seem to develop addictions in their attempts to self-medicate. By restoring balance and quieting overactive areas of the brain, were able to give them a powerful recovery tool and jump-start their efforts. Whats nice is that the changes in the brain tend to be permanent. Clients can take real and long lasting advantage of in-patient or outpatient treatment and 12-Step programs.

An initial 10-session BTC Intensive Training can be accomplished in five days, without radically disrupting a clients life, and at a fraction of the cost of traditional 28-day or outpatient programs.

One Life

debrakcarey — Sat, 10 May 2008 13:06:23 GMT

I am single. I have been married and am now divorced. I plan on remaining single until I find a man who is strong in the Lord.

I have been clean since 1995. It's been a awesome journey.

I am a mother, and a grandmother. I have four grown sons; ages 34, 33, 31 and 29. My only daughter is 25. My oldest grandchild has just turned 14. The youngest will be three in July. I have 12 grandchildren in all.

My ethnicity is important to me. It is how I view myself from the inside out. I am descended from Native American, Irish, German and Sicilian grandparents. Each of my European grandparents were immigrants. They worked hard to become Americans and I value that legacy. I am proud of my ancestry and the accomplishments of the people I came from. I've been asked how I reconcile the Native and the European sides of myself. It is easy...I belong to the human race. And each culture I am descended from has positive, as well as negative in their history. I choose to exemplify the positive traits or traditions I inherited from each. I believe that is what America is and should be.

I am proud of my country and support it's constitution of freedom and liberty and justice. My country is not perfect but it is my home, so I do not disrespect it.

My political beliefs are not popular. I will spare you the details. Let's just say I am a moderate who sees the whole process as corrupt. We will not see true peace through human endeavors in government. Everyone has an agenda. Everyone has an opinion. And everyone is out for themselves. Those that begin in earnest with high ideals are dragged down and thwarted at every turn. I speak my opinions to those who ask and leave it at that. I vote my conscience, not the party line.

My contribution to society is to lend a helping hand to those less fortunate. I believe and act upon this one thing. How can you say you love God whom you cannot see, when you turn your back on your brother, who is right in front of you. God is love, and if you do not love others, you do not love God.

I work as a medication technician in a small nursing home. I have 20 years experience working with the elderly. They keep me humble. I know what it is to sit and hold a hand while someone dies. I understand the heartache of loss when you can no longer live on your own or make your own decisions. I've seen many families grieve while a loved one wasted away with Alzheimer's.

Next, I am a believer. I believe that there is a Creator, that He is accessible and cares about what He has created. I am a believer that each human being is responsible for learning and understanding what is the truth in any subject. We depend entirely to much on others to tell us the truth and not enough seeking it ourselves. I am a student of human behavior, human development, and most of all, human biology; mainly nutrition and development. I do not know all there is to know and am not an expert, I am just an observer and student. I also love to read about and try to understand the other disciplines of human learning. History and ancient cultures, philosophy, geography, sociology, physics, cultural arts, and religion are some of my favorite subjects to read about. I believe there is one truth and someday we will know it. I believe there is a desire to find that truth within each of us. Some of us listen to teachers, some of us are confused by what we see and hear and have become disillusioned about the search, some of us are convinced we know all there is to know already. But each of us wants to know the truth.

I believe in free choice. I believe in being responsible. I believe in being accountable. Sound contradictory? No, what you choose to do has an effect on everyone else. So, choose wisely. Every system of law is based on this premise. From the most ancient to the most recent, law and order should be based on the golden rule. Do unto others what you would have done to you.

I have made major mistakes in my journey through life. The things I have learned have come from experience and trial and error. This is how the human being learns best. I own hundreds of books. Yet, the most profound lessons in my life have come from making mistakes, and seeking to correct them.

I have survived many abuses. I have learned that to be unforgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the person who offended or hurt you, to die. Holding on to anger and bitterness almost drove me insane. I realized that there is a higher justice than the world can give. I realized that someday I would face this justice as well. I realized that if I wanted forgiveness, I must forgive. This is true peace and the nations of the world will never accomplish peace without forgiveness and the love that prompts it.

I am a recovering addict and alcoholic. I take one day, and often one minute, at a time. I have given control of my inner self to my higher power. (Ah ha! Maxwell, my friend would say, religions use mind control)....but I would say to him, everything in this life is about control. Parents control children, schools control students, employers control employees. Governments control citizens. Each of us should control our own impulses. My higher power has endowed me with free will. He has given me tools to make the proper choices. His wisdom guides me if I stumble. He teaches me that inner control of myself is better than control from without. I make my choices bases on what I know to work. Some, unfortunately make their choices based on dogma; but the fact is everyone of us is controlled (to a certain degree) by something or someone.

So, I attempt to love others as I am loved by my Creator. By being a friend, by trying to understand and care for others. If I had one hero in this world, it would be Mother Theresa. She faced her inner demons with faith. She did not let doubts or mistakes rob her of her inner peace. She loved the unlovable. She gave more than she asked for. This is my goal, to be that way.

S E X!!!! Now That's a HOT topic!!

Becca — Thur, 08 May 2008 18:48:19 GMT

The Sex Inventory. What The Heck

Is That All About?

I still remember vividly when I first heard someone talking about doing a sex inventory. I thought to myself, I not doin any sex inventory. I dont know what it is, but I do know Im not doin it! See, at that point I wasnt big on actually reading the Big Book, much less using a sponsor to learn about the steps. I would just hear information, pick out the things I liked and chunk whatever else remained. Well long story short, that stint of self direction lasted a couple of years, but ultimately ended the same way.

Upon this return I would find myself afraid, hurting, hungry and willing. I would once again approach the subject of the sex inventory, but this time I was ready to ask, What the heck is that about anyway? I had some great people in my life that broke down the sex portion of How It Works from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous piece by piece. What follows is the information passed down to me by folks that received what was passed down to them.

SEX Those three letters! What comes to mind when you see that word? (Be honest now.) For most folks something related to the physical act comes to mind. I mean if I see the information to a movie and it says Strong Sexual Content Im not thinking, Wow this must be a really intense love story! (Right?) So its an easy assumption that the sex inventory MUST be regarding who I had the physical act of sex with. It was an assumption of mine that this portion of the Big Book would address things like the physical act of sex, morals and values related to sex, how long I shouldnt have sex &/or relationships, when it was ok to and would outline for me how sex/relationships would cause me to relapse. (Because after all, I had everyone and their brother talking to me about it!) So, lets just take a look.

~Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there. But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question. Its so easy to get way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes-absurd extremes perhaps. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation. Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isnt the right kind. They see its significance everywhere. One school would allow man no flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet. ~ I am certain Im not the only one that KNOWS how true this is! I mean, if you want to stir up some confusion in your own life, just invite folks in to your personal sex life. I know the last time I did that, I walked away so confused I didnt know which way was up!

~We want to stay out of this controversy. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyones sex conduct. We all have sex problems. Wed hardly be human if we didnt. What can we do about them? ~ These few short sentences say SO much! We (meaning they ALL agreed on this.) Now, Im sure Im not the only one that realizes REAL alcoholics are ALL rocket scientists by heart. We all think we know something about everything and our opinions often differ A LOT. Yet, on topic as varied and controversial as SEX, they ALL agreed on this: (1) To stay out of the controversy. (They will not be giving a yes or no on the particulars of this issue.) (2) To not be the arbiter (someone chosen to judge and decide a disputed issue), of anyones sex conduct. (Not only were they not telling me what to do, but they let me know it was not my role or anyone elses in recovery, to get involved in my sex matters or relationship problems.) (3)That we all have sex problems - (This isnt in reference to the physical, this is in reference to the social/spiritual side, the relationship aspect.) Now THAT was something I identified with, because I had ALWAYS had relationship problems of one kind or another.

(4) Wed hardly be human if we didnt. (Thank goodness they let me know early on, that my problems were merely an indicator that I was human. Then(5)What can we do about them? So right from the get go Im going to get some answers.

~We reviewed our own conduct over years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?(Ya ever play head games with anyone?) Where were we at fault and what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it. ~ Now, what is NOT specifically mentioned in that portion? Or should I say WHO is not specifically mentioned for me to list? It NEVER specifies for me to list people that I had physical sex with. I mean, obviously they would be on the list, but isnt it interesting that NO WHERE do they say to list who I was with? Well, thats because there were a lot of people that I used the emotion of sex to get what I wanted or needed. Here is an example: Did you ever have someone that you knew they liked you like that, but you however did NOT like them like that? But because they liked you like that you benefited somehow, soyou just let them think you might like them like that some day and continued to ride that pony till it was time to run? See, when we not only think back to the folks we were actually physically involved with, but add in ALL the people that we used flirtations, lust, etc to get what we wanted, without any real thought for them HOLY MOLY that list gets long!

Now when I first saw all of that I thought to myself, I dont want to write all that down! Its like a written confession confirming that I really am an ass! But thankfully this book was written by alcoholics who knew my mind and quickly told why I needed to do this. They said ~ In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test was it selfish or not?~ So all I needed to do was decide if I wanted all my relationships with other people to be the same or if I would like for them to get better. If I wanted better, then I needed to take a close look at myself and my motives.

It goes on to stop my, Now Ill fix myself and be different! thinking, right in its tracks by saying ~ We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised or loathed. ~ To not be despised or loathedthis small portion spoke what I needed to hear then AND what I would need to hear throughout this journey called recovery, because I would sometimes cross the line of the ideals I set for myself and my first impulse was to despise and loath myself for it. What I have is a God given instinct. I am the created and He is the Creator. The created can not fix its self, but is reliant upon the One who did the creating to do the fixing.

As I said earlier, I will again want to try and assert myself and take control of getting better, but they go on to outline for me a clear distinction as to my role and my Creators role when they say, ~ Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow towards it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm(notice is does NOT say we make amends yet)provided we do not bring about more harm in so doing(Lets say I had relations with my friends significant other 5 years ago during a drunken party. My friend never knew about it and they are still together. Now Im sober and feel guilty (which by the way is a self driven emotion), and so I want to come clean and get this off my chest. So I go tell my friend what happened. Well, that is only going to cause undo pain and chaos. Perhaps I would have been well advised to follow the direction of a sponsor and guidelines of the book.)

~ In other words we treat sex as we would any other problem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter(Notice it doesnt say we ask our parents, our friends, our pastors, priests or rabbis, our home group or even our sponsor for that matter.)~ The right answer will come if we want it~ (There is the clincher if we want it. How many times I would ask God for the answer, but in my heart I didnt really want His answer, I just wanted Him to give me MINE And well let me just say, it never ended good.)

Next it goes on to give me more good information like ~ God alone can judge our sex situation. ~ What GREAT news! That meant that really, unless I actually asked for someones opinion, NOTHING about my sex life was anyones business. Of course THAT part was easy to see, it was me staying out of OTHER peoples business that was a bit tougher!(So what about our sponsor or if we want to talk with someone else?) Well, that is in the very next sentence. ~ Counsel with other persons is often desirable, but we let God be the final judge. ~ So unless God is talking to me audibly, I will need to vocalize what Im dealing with to another person., I just need to remember to go back to God after that to then pray/meditate and seek direction. I may still ultimately find that I didnt make the right decision, but I will have remained sober through it and have grown by exercising the spiritual principles of willingness, honesty and open-mindedness.

Now, the next portion is in reference to when I blow it. You know how that is right about the time you think your really doing good and all is well, you loose your mind and do something that you thought you had out grown. One of those things that very often well meaning folks will say, if you do that your gonna get drunk! ~ Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half truth. It depends on us and our motives. (We are given criteria here.) (1) If we are sorry for what we have done& (2) have an honest desire to let God (NOT ME) take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson.~ (It does not say that if Im sorry and never do it again. It just says if Im sorry and have an honest desire to let God take us to better things. Personally Ive never found God to do many things quickly, so it is likely that I may mess up several times during this process.) Likewise, it gives us criteria for relapseand let me point out this is the ONLY time relapse is mentioned in relation to sex/relationships. ~ If we are (1) not sorry and our(2)conduct continues to harm others we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are the facts out of our experience. So the only reference to relapse in relation to sex is actually the same as any other area of our life that leads to relapse When I choose self direction over Gods directionwhen I choose self will over Gods willwhen I choose to be self centered rather than God centeredTHAT is when I relapse. I cant be powerless and powerful at the same time.

~ To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity and for the strength to do the right thing~ Here is another one of those parts that is just one sentence, but it speaks volumes! First it doesnt just say that we pray, it says we earnestly praythat means when I am most serious, determined, eager, etc.. It outlines that I am to not look inward, but rather am to look outward to God for all that I need, because I need the right ideal, guidance, sanity and strength to do the right things.

~ If sex becomes very troublesome~ (So what is troublesome anyway? Some obvious forms of troublesome would be when I am at odds with my significant other or when my behavior is way off from my chosen ideal. But some other forms of troublesome are like, when I cant focus in a meeting because Im focusing on somebody in that meeting! Or, when I cant do what I need to do in the course of a day, for wondering what they are doing or when they are going to call or when we are going to see each other again. Even worse is when I skip a meeting because Im arguing with my special someone and THEY will be at the meeting; (OR) I dont feel like going to meetings as much because my special someone isnt an alcoholic/addict and I want to hang out with them.)~we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and we work for them...~ (Why would I do that? Why would that help? Because) ~ This takes us out of ourselves~ (If self is my problem and is causing my reckless thinking and behavior, then I need to get AWAY from my problem! Have you ever noticed going in to a meeting sometimes you might not be doing to well, yet by the time you leave the meeting, you find that although the circumstances in your life havent changed, you actually feel better? Well the reason for that is that the very act of listening is a selfless act. In order for me to actually hear you, I have to get out of myself and quit thinking about me. So after an hour of actively listening to others it can cause me to be distanced enough from my problem which is me to get a better perspective and sanity as to what to do next.) ~ It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache. You know, like when your in an argument with your partner and neither of you can hear the other because your to busy thinking of your next response? Or maybe they say, Dont say one more thing, or I swear I am leaving you for good this time!! Hmmmmm. I know I shouldnt say anything.except for that imperious urge!

So in closing, the bad news is we can never master this thing called sex, but the good news is, we can always continue to learn and to grow with the promise of happier relationships and fuller lives!

(Rebecca B.)

good needles: acupuncture for addiction

acumaven — Wed, 07 May 2008 22:56:14 GMT

"No needles!" the tattooed man shuddered and shook his head as I approached with my tools of the trade in hand.

I've been a licensed acupuncturist since 1983 and have been working in drug treatment programs since 1992 so colorfully inked arms on quaking musclemen are nothing new.

"How about just the opiate point?" I ask, sweetly. I may be old enough to be his grandma but I still know how to butter up someone hungry for relief.

"Opiate point?" His head lifts in curiosity.

"The point that releases opiates into your system. I'll take it out if you don't like it."

"It really works!" his neighbor in the seat ten inches to his right confirms. Shrugger shrugs again, this time acquiescing to public pressure and the lure of feeling better.

As I place one tiny, solid but thin-as-a-hair stainless steel acupuncture needle in this man's ears he notices it doesn't hurt as much as he expected. And, as I expect, he says to go ahead and put the other four in, too. I explain as I go:

"This one's to relax the sympathetic nervous system. This one releases opiates called endorphins, short for "endogenous (or "in-the-body") morphine. This one helps the kidney function better as a detoxifier, filter, and source of energy for the body. This one inspires better liver function, the major detox organ, and this last one helps the lung work better."

"In Chinese medicine," I continue, "the ancient doctors saw a connection between organs and emotions. So, when we treat the kidney we are also helping you deal with fear. When we treat the liver, we help you deal with anger. And when we work on the lung, we help you deal with grief."

Everyone in the room is listening. I want every single one of them to move through this program and graduate from Drug Court in ten months, the shortest time possible. Sacramento County's Probation Department Drug Court is a comprehensive program involving exercise, nutrition, and acupuncture in addition to 12 Steps and group work, yet I wonder, "Would their recovery be even faster and more successful if they were sitting in Winchester, Virginia in the residential program at Bridging the Gaps?" There they would be living in a group home helping prepare nourishing food each day, safe from the temptations of home and old neighborhood. They'd be enjoying intravenous vitamins, minerals, and amino acids as well as oral nutrients and acupuncture plus they'd be exercising at the local gym. They'd walk to their 12 Step meeting together and write their personal biography for group with a counselor that helped integrate the body, mind, and spirit in a way my outpatient program just couldn't touch.

I watch the struggles of my treatment clients and wonder not only about the benefit of Bridging the Gaps in Virginia but about how to clone the other holistic treatment programs in the far corners of the U.S. as well. Joan Mathews-Larson's Health Recovery Center in Minneapolis, MN; Julia Ross' Recovery Systems in Mill Valley, CA; John Giordano's G&G Holistic Addiction Treatment Center in North Miami Beach, FL; Sonia Marshak, MD's Marshak Clinic in Malibu, CA, are some of the other programs I know about with brain repair complementing the usual mind and spirit focus to create what Stan Stokes, founder/director of Bridging the Gaps calls the three-legged stool of good addiction treatment and recovery support.

I watch Mr. Tattoo relax into his first acupuncture treatment, his eyes closing with relief and enjoyment of the new-found calm. The small room of six men and women is quiet. Their bodies know how to return to center when given half a chance. This jail diversion program gives them that chance. Heads rest against the wall behind soft black chairs, silver needles sticking out of a dozen ears. The room eases into a half hour of peace. Then they'll move into the kitchen for a nutrition lecture and a cooking class ending with a healthy lunch. I smile contentedly. It's good to be in addiction treatment with all the proper tools of the trade at hand.
Carolyn Reuben, L.Ac.
Executive Director
Community Addiction Recovery Assoc.
Sacramento, CA

poetry submission

misspink62 — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 04:08:26 GMT

The Lessons
The price of pain we pay for spiritual growth is high,
The rewards we gain are priceless if we get to the other side
Nothing absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake
But this alcoholic will run amok always getting in his way
That inner voice is loud and clear your lesson is to trust
Walk with me and just let go and I'll handle this with love
I'm asking you for a leap of faith to surrender and just believe
I'll grant you peace and serenity if you'll give it all to me
I know that you are hurting I gifted you with PAIN
So you could feel my power I have rescued you again
The plan i have for you he said is not time to reveal
You still have many lessons.to learn just how to live
Just by asking I'll guide you thru everything you do
Nothing can over power the gifts I have for you

Celinda Pink 2008