Depression Help Online Support Forums

depressed

lauren — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 10:28:48 GMT

hi , i've been depressed for a while now and at the moment see no way out. I really want to get help but am to scared to tell anyone face to face the way that im feeling. I feel worthless and that the world would be a much better place without me and have been self harming. I cant really explain how i feel but i hope that someone can give me some advise to make me feel better . thankyou so much x

Forum: Struggles and Questions

How do you keep it going?

asra — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:55:22 GMT

---This post was moved here from the A Question For You Forum. This is where you post questions asking for help, suggestions, etc.---

all the messages i read about "WHAT HELPS" does to a large extent.......

but my real concern is about KEEPING IT GOING"........... going out.... doing something... elevates my mood......

for the last one month i look back...... i have tried and keep on trying these techniques....... what tires me down is why does this situation change......

y cant i be like other people generally happy,,,,,,,,, i convince myself thinking.... they fake to be happy and you cant FAKE.......

i am tired

i dont know what to do

Forum: Struggles and Questions

Need help for daughter-in-law

Victoria — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:46:08 GMT

---This post was moved here from the A Question For You Forum. This is where you post your questions asking for help, suggestions, etc.---

My daughter in law may be depressed. She displays many of the things I have now read about. I want to take a different approach with her (up to now i have tried to "shame" her into getting her house in order (its a health hazzard, disgusting beyond belief), make sure kids fed and clean (they get left to scavenge for themselves), get job etc........) without success. It breaks my heart to see the condition they live in.

I now think she may well need medical help.

Can any of you tell me out there what you appreciated most about the help(and what kind of help it was) you got from family members - and what definately DID NOT help.

Thanks.

Forum: Struggles and Questions

Need help ASAP

Ricky — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 06:25:25 GMT

My name is Ricky. Just recently, I was released from jail after serving 8 months. Prior to my incarceration, I had a daughter born. Now the mother of my child and I have been together a few years. Just recently she told me she met a new guy and is in love with him. He treats her horribly and she blames herself. She has been convincing me that for the past 8 months that she wants to be wit me. But now, she has been playing mind games and it is destroying me. Every time I'm around my daughter, shes there and it brings up all my feelings for her. I don't know how to deal with this and it is making me lose my sanity. I'm scared for myself because I cant trust myself. Can someone please talk to me and try and help?

Forum: Struggles and Questions

getting help 2

james buchanan — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 23:52:32 GMT

Being angry about depression does not help. Do not get angry at the psychiatrists. They have a very hard job dealing with depressed people. Medications dont work very well, or not at all. Some people do not open up. Some people have trouble connecting. Some peoples thoughts are so distorted it is hard to figure out where their thinking is wrong. Some people want to blame someone. Some people are so angry they cannot focus on anything good. Some people have been hurt by so many people so deeply they cannot recognize when someone cares. Many do not have the patience to change a little at a time. They want it much too fast. Many people cannot give love or receive it. Many people cannot see the good in people because they have been hurt too many times.

Realistic re-thinking can slowly get you out of these problems. Optimistic thinking does not help because you are tricking yourself to look at things better than they really are. Realistic does look like optimistic. A reality check would include:

1. Good is stronger than evil

2. Most people have more good in them than bad. This includes depressed people.

3. Living and thinking rightly has far more benefits than being bitter.

4. Anyone can live rightly if you try.

5. Revenge makes things worse.

6. Learn how to love, it never fails. Let go of the bad. Psychiatrists have to deal with all this troubling trouble. They get burned out, get depressed, loose empathy, get tired and quit their jobs. I am sure some patients are very difficult to deal with. The process of getting un-depressed is not that difficult, but the time and trouble to deal with all this is enormous.

God wants us better. I know it is possible.

Forum: Success Stories

weak and exhusted desperate and empty

joanne — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 18:01:36 GMT

i cant stop crying and i need to get out my life ha thats funny i cant explain it properly so many reasons ive tried so hard fighting the am just feeling sorry for myself now i feel totally engulfed darkness surrounds me back ground for you about my life i was born my mam never wanted a little girl never got on blah blah we get on ok now but i dont trust her never will i was sexually abused from age 4-7yrs maybe slightly longer i think im probably over that i was rapped at age 14yrs and i found out i was pregnant after my dad punched me in the stomach and made me lose that life i became withdrawn and several times tried killing myself i learnt i was asking for help and spent along time recieving help and responding well becoming stronger but now the dark cloud of my bumpy life its never really gone but has swooped in again i want children i have a career a job a home havnt done anything suicidal or even thought about it for 10yrs or so ive been with my partner for 9yrs hes 20yrs older than me its taking its toll now i feel trapped he says the words i want to hear when i get stronger so i stay then he lets me down i have pcos and find it hard to even concieve at all i have no children ive had two misscarriges whilst being with this man but im finally getting to know my fertility signs and hes pulling out (so to speak) i am so desperate for children in my life i cant adopt because he wont give up smoking and hear i am crying all over again my heart aches so much i dont feel anything but hurt anger sadness sorrow blackness i have lots of sleeping tabs and strong pain killers my doctor was unsure about giving me just latly i havnt taken them but i cry and my pain doesnt go doesnt ease just throbs i feel i have nothing to live for i found out my dad is dying a few months ago and i just feel so helpless and useless i dont want this life i dont know what ive done to deserve this life my beautiful cat tabby is purring loudly rubbing my legs she knows i am so sad and trys hard bless her i know she loves me and i love her she always gives me kisses but its short lived that feeling i feel nobody out there understands my very strong need i have to ask what kind of mother would i be if i could have children would i be crap is that why i cant have them doomed to be slightly loopy till the day something decides to terminate my retched little life i remember being younger with my nan i was looking forward to being a mum or a nurse just so i could help people satisfying now i just detest people so selfish so aragant so wrong hurtfull nasty race of life we are i see outside the box i am still empathic but i choose when to be now it longer chooses me ive learned to switch it off i want my life to be switched off permanently

Forum: Struggles and Questions

getting help

james buchanan — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 00:59:09 GMT

Going to a psychiatrist

I have gone to therapists and psychiatrists. This is my impression.

1. Some are good and some are not

2. Some have empathy and some are burned out. ( you must have empathy or help does not happen)

3. You get counseling once a week, sometimes for years

4. Therapists will wait for you to open up and talk about your problems. This could take months

5. You open up and tell your problems

6. He decides what is wrong with your thinking, but does not tell you. This is because you will not

Believe enough to make a change

7. As you repeat your story the therapist will interject a question or comment in an indirect way to guide your thinking in a different direction. You will not know he is doing this

8. You discover your own solution to your problem. You think you did it on your own which means you believe it more and act on it more

9. The therapist led you all along and you didnt know it.

10. You now think you can solve problems on your own.

Forum: Success Stories

sensitive, crazy, weak, or bad?

HCaulfield — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 09:00:21 GMT

Hi,

I don't know if anyone will respond to this - I haven't posted here before, and I understand that people have their own problems.

I'm interested in how common my experiences are. I'm seriously thinking about seeking further help (I'm already on meds) because lately things have been worse, and I can't see a way out.

Im not sure that I can explain my situation as I don't fully understand it myself. I don't know what the medical terminology is for someone like me. I've been different for as long as I can remember. I seem to have been depressed forever. I don't know why or when it started.

My parents said I was a quiet kid, never really cried much. My Dad lost his Dad when I was young and I think it affected him badly. Maybe that's the reason we never got on. I don't know. There isn't a strong bond between us anyway.

I was bullied a bit through school. Nothing terrible really in the grand scheme of things. I was very shy at school (I guess I still am really) which was tough at times. It would get so bad at times that I could barely speak or look people in the eyes. I thought I'd gotten rid of that as a kid but a couple of years ago it started again, worse than ever. So, I always had a problem connecting with people - although oddly, I don't mind one-to-one contact, its always in group situations that I have problems. Problems like inability to maintain eye contact, inability to think clearly, panic attacks at the worst times.

I muddled my way through school. Pupils and teachers always treated my as some kind of genius because I found subjects easy. Now people treat me like an idiot because I'm so lost in my own thoughts at times that I don't keep up. And because I've failed in life as well, I guess.

I read a lot early on in life and it gave me a head start at school I guess, and Maths and subjects like that all came quite easily as well. I wasn't popular but I had some friends. But I always had these problems.

I thought about suicide seriously when I was 14. I don't know why exactly, it wasn't a specific thing. I just remember I'd written down a load of stuff that had been swirling around in my head (I get low points sometimes where I get a lot of deep, negative thoughts and obsess over them. So, I struggle to sleep a lot. I've had that problem for a while but its got worse recently.) I never went through with it though. My Mum found the notes and made my promise never to do that. I've stuck to that promise for a long time now.

So school was difficult, yes. But people have far worse childhoods than that so that is why I ask whether it is because I was too weak?

I didn't have a plan after school. I got decent grades even though I didn't study like I should have. So I opted for university. Ended up doing Computer Science as I thought it would give me decent career prospects. A bad choice. I had no aptitude for it, no interest in it, and I was surrounded by people who got excited by Memory Configurations and stuff like that. It was hell and I really struggled through Uni. Ended up with the worst pass possible after umpteen exam resits. My grandparents died around this time. Other people's grandparents die and they mourn them for a few weeks and then get on with their life. I had real problems with it though. My Gran particularly, died a slow, cruel death that she didn't deserve and I never really came to terms with it. I always felt close to her, because I thought she was a little like me where other people weren't, and that any time in future, if I was in trouble, she'd know how to help.

So I got out of uni with my garbage degree and tried to get a job. I wasn't sure what to do. I applied for a couple of low grade jobs but didn't get an interview for any of them. I was really struggling by this point. My sister was having problems too. She was in bad relationships, had cut her wrists, taken overdoses. I didn't know if she'd survive long, it happened so often. I was scared and felt I had no control. I started shaking one day and couldn't stop all day. She stopped after a while and she has a daughter now. I worry about her sometimes but she's a lot better than she was back then.

Eventually I went to a doctor and got prescribed meds. I've been off and on ever since. I haven't got better though, I've got worse in the long run. Every low is a little lower.

All my life I've avoided public places. I can't explain why exactly. I guess I'm a misanthrope at heart and it shows. People have never liked me, that's the truth. I read a definition of misanthropy that rings true to me. It was something like "you feel you have to reject people before they can reject you".

Over time I've trusted people less and less. I've deliberately and wilfully broke every friendship I had. My self-esteem is so bad that my attitude is that people are better off without me.

For about the last 5 years I've only left the house when I've needed to. I don't go out. I've never had any romantic relationships. The opportunity never arose often and when it did my self-esteem issues held me back. I've never been physically attractive so it was never going to be easy. I'm possibly love-shy as well, I'm not sure. I'm not natural, I know that. I never chased girls (I suspect people have thought I'm gay for a long time) but I've spent years obsessing over a woman who probably never felt anything for me. Just a girl I knew for 6 months. Doesn't really matter any more though, never should have in the first place.

About 5 years ago I got a crappy job running machinery. We worked shifts, dayshift one week, nightshift the next. I done this for about 3 years, just getting by. Then I got a job upstairs, doing some IT work.

Finally the point in this. Over time things have got worse as if building to a point.

I quit my job last month. I took offense to something somebody said and I walked. I really hated that job but it was the one that paid my bills. Money is running out now. I've spent the last month in bed practically and my thoughts are too deep. I don't leave the house often. I use cannabis to pass the hours. Some days I can't face people at all so I don't leave my room. I have no idea what to do now. I'm looking at jobs but my head isn't right. I'm too filled with despair so I look at the jobs and straight away I think I can't do the job, it'll be a disaster.

In a lot of ways I'd like to die but I can't do that to my family. I don't have any point though. I've reduced everything in my life until there's nothing left.
I wish I had never been born. All I've done has been a negative influence in everyone I've come into contact with. I think I might just be a bad person at heart and I'm meant to suffer. You reap what you sow after all. I can remember once (I was about 18-20 maybe) this guy I barely knew came up to me when he was drunk and he was saying "You know...I really hate you" and stuff, and I was so confused because I didn't even know who he was, and I wondered why he would say that. I'd never made any interaction with him ever and he hated me almost naturally. I think about that and I think he was probably right, that I was/am a horrible person but I never saw it.

I think I've hit rock bottom. Need to wind this up. Guess I might be the only person to read this at this length!

I just wondered whether anyone has any experience of this to such an extent? And if anyone has any miracle cure, religion, or whatever then count me in. I need all the help I can get.

PS - I was looking at jobs, thinking of what I could do, and the best I could come up with was Lighthouse Keeper! How many jobs are there for the socially incompetent, might phone in sick because the world's caved-in, people in the world?

Forum: Struggles and Questions

thoughts in your heart

james buchanan — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:46:49 GMT

Your thoughts and feelings in your heart will determine how you feel. Whether happy or sad or depressed or in between. We put the thoughts and feelings in our heart. Many people do not even know they even doing this. Also many people do not know how to look in the heart to see what is there. Some people are affraid to look at it. Everyone daily needs to filter what goes into the heart and examine what is there to see if it is correct. On the surface thoughts need to match heart thoughts or you will beome confused. The bible calls it double minded and says you will be unstable in all your ways.

How do we recognize our thoughts when they go in our hearts and how do we examine them? We do it the same way we do it with other people. We look at other people's words and actions and judge for ourself. We judge for honesty, compassion, disapline, bitterness, anger, boasting, complaining, condeming, proud, courteous, flatering, fault finder, lazy, loving, trusting, offending, self righteousness, stubborn and many more. We must get used to listening to ourself and watching our actions. With practice this becomes easy.

When kind people judge they are looking for the good things and being comassionate with the bad. When a customer service person talks to a customer she or he talks honestly, respectfully, and loves the customer and wants to do best by them.

Depressed people do not treat themselves like this. They treat themselves awful. They put themselves down and degrade themselves. If they treated customers that way, they would have no customers.

The next problem depressed people have is too many problems. This action you must do yourself. You must pick the problems that are bothering you the most and leave the others for some time in the future. Also, you will only allow yourself to talk or resolve your prblems one hour a day. More than this hurts. Once you have worked though your problem long enough and thorough enough you must forgive everyone including yourself and let it go.

Forum: Success Stories

undepressed

james buchanan — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:00:59 GMT

My name is Jim and I was depressed for almost 20 years. I had a bad childhood with an extreemly abusive dad. I left home as soon as I could. I did OK for a while, but problems built up until I was severly depressed. I had a family but could not handle the responsibility. I came to the point where I went to work, came home and shut myself in my room. Life was miserable. I hated everyone and most people hated me. I would avoid everyone. I hated myself and everything about me. I got no pleasure from anything and the best I would ever feel is empty and numb.

I spent years trying to fix my depression. Three years of counseling with a psychiatrist and every medication known to man. I also read many college text books on depression my doctor loaned me, and a lot of self help books.

I finally figured out how to stop being depressed and in about 2 years I was completely undepressed. I don't think it is possible for me to be depressed again. I can now joke and laugh and enjoy life and feel good every day. I am learning to love everyone. I cannot describe how much better I feel. This is one of the best things that ever happened in my life. I am 61 years old and have thought about being a professional therapist to help other people, but it would take 6 years of college .

It is possible to go from totally depressed to wonderfull. Don't ever give up. You can beat depression.

Forum: Success Stories

thoughts

james buchanan — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 01:48:19 GMT

HOW DO YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS?

I wonder if you realize how much control your thoughts have over you.

I am sure everyone knows about self esteem and how it affects you. These are inside thoughts about yourself. If you hate yourself (some people do) there is no way it will not affect you or the people around you.

Where do you get your thoughts from? Are they true? Do you distort them? Your thoughts about God, are they true? Are you afraid to look at your thoughts? What does the Bible say?

1. Isaiah 55:9

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

2. Psalm 139:23

Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

3. Psalm 55:2

Hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught.

4. Genesis 6:5

The Lord saw how great mans wickedness on the earth had become and every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.

I think our thoughts are not as bad as the people before the flood. But just a few wrong thought can cause us a lot of trouble.

Some examples are of wrong thoughts are:

We forgive ourselves for a particular fault and someone else has the same fault and we dont forgive them. It could be the opposite. We forgive someone else and we dont forgive ourselves. We exaggerate or dont give ourselves proper credit, or other people proper credit. Jealousy, envy, and self pity are wrong thoughts. We fool ourselves and think we are not so bad, or we think we are terrible. Worse than we really are.

Too much pride, or allowing yourself to be walked on is wrong thinking. No one appreciated my good work so I will feel bad. My work is the best and no one is as good as I am. God wants to punish me. God does not have my best interest at heart all the time and I need to help Him out. God does not love me that much. God is not interested in me having fun.

You can hide your thoughts and not know after a while they are there. You can fool yourself into thinking your are righteous when you are not. You can feel bad because you are not perfect enough. God does not love me because I am not good enough. Jesus is not an easy going guy. God wants to punish me. I cant forgive that guy.

There are thousands of wrong thoughts. When a family has them, they are called a dysfunctional family. Some of the side affects are anxiety, stomach pain, insomnia, mussel pain, irritability, anger, rage, headache, suicide, poor relationships, divorce, addictions, depression.

What can set you free from all this? The truth will set you free. Jack Nicholson says you cant handle the truth, but that is not true. I guaranty you Jesus, the might counselor, will help you sort out these thoughts if you ask Him.

Do not be afraid of your thoughts. All counselors use the morals and values in the Bible to confront your thoughts because they are the only ones that work. You need to examine each of your thoughts in your heart and see if they are right. It is like weeds growing in your valuable crop. You need to get rid of them before they do much damage.

It is your inside thoughts that count in your heart. Do you ever feel bad and dont know why? Its those weeds in your heart. What does the Bible say?

Luke 6:45

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Luke 21:34

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighted down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap.

If wrong thoughts keep coming back you must keep countering them until they stop. A good example would be:

God, You dont care about me. If You did, I would not have all these troubles. The counter correct thought would be, I know You love me and You will get me through these troubles somehow. I choose to trust You. Job, in the bible, had more troubles than mine and God helped him and He will help me too. Remember you cannot sort out all your thoughts without the help of Jesus, the Bible, godly council, or someone that loves you that you can trust. We probably need all four.

Jesus will never fail you. But people, including yourself, will. In those circumstances you need something that never fails even with sinning people. That get out of jail free card is love. The best description of love I have ever heard is in Corinthians 13. Remember, your thoughts can be very deceptive. Sometimes you make up wrong thoughts so you can have your own way or to justify a wrong action. The smarter you are the more deceptive you can be. Thus the saying too smart for your own britches.

All your wrong thoughts can be corrected and put back in your heart. You will then have peace that passes all understanding.

May the Lord get all the credit for every good thing we do. May all the wrong things we do drive us to the One that can help us.

Forum: Success Stories

Need help

Gordon — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 01:02:35 GMT

i am needing help with all this, can anyone tell me how to get to talk to someone oneline

Forum: Struggles and Questions

can't get suicide thoughts out of my mind

Maria — Thur, 19 Jun 2008 05:01:37 GMT

I try so hard to not think of suicide. I take part in classes but all the time I am thinking of ending it all. At night while watching TV, the thoughts keep running through my mind.
I am on medication, I have a nurse, and a psychiatrist all rooting for me to keep going, but it is so hard.
I make myself do the dishes that piled up, feel the hot water run over my hands, but I just can't get it together. There are always some left to do.
I am alone, no reason to go on, a go-nowhere relationship of 30 years with a partner, 15 years where I never even got a kiss.
Now I moved to live on my own, I have failed in all areas of my life, no husband, no kids, no career.
I feel nobody is hearing me, nobody cares, but most of all I don't care to go on with this existence.
My family is dying, I try to be kind and guide but nobody is listening...I have failed my life. I just hang on to please my parents but when they are gone there is no reason for me to be here.
My place I just moved in is a mess, I see it, but feel so tired to do anything about it. I am a mess, dirty clothes, my ex says I need to change my shirt. My thoughts continue to end it all, to finish myself off, to commit suicide.

Forum: Struggles and Questions

unwilling to admit

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 01:58:09 GMT

i went to the doctor about a month and half ago on to stop smoking however i truly wanted an antidepressant however was not willing to tell anyone why i was there. i dont dare tell people what i am thinking for fear of what they may say or do.i thought that they may lock me up. the antidepressant that they gave me seemed to help for a bit but not what i hoped for.
i tried to talk to my husband and it feels as though he doesnt want to hear it. he will tell me i need a stronger med. or somthing. i will tell him in no uncertain words what i am feeling and he says whats your problem ha i just told you iknow i should own up to it when i go to the docs but dont want to have a melt down in front of a stranger so i bury it is there anyway to get over this?

Forum: Struggles and Questions

My Experience of Getting Cured From Depression And Tardive Dyskinesia-induced Hemifacial spasm Sickness

Mike Cain — Thur, 12 Jun 2008 07:18:32 GMT

My Experience of Getting Cured From Depression And Tardive Dyskinesia-induced Hemifacial spasm Sickness

Tardive Dyskinesia / Tardive Dyskinesia (Further Details) actually falls under the EPS (extrapyramidal symptoms) syndrome which may well include dystonia, parkinsonism etc.

Such EPS syndrome (especially physical movement disorders, including Hemifacial Spasms triggered by bodily chemical imbalances) in turn is caused by disturbances to the dopamine receptors (one of the main neurotransmitters) in the nervous system which is normally induced by most of the AAP's (atypical antipsychotics).

In this regard, some years ago I was diagnosed with depression-related illness and accordingly i was instructed by a psychiatrist to take the related medications on a long-term basis. unfortunately, I ended up getting the side effects of Tardive Dyskinesia and Extrapyramidal Syndrome of Hemifacial Spasm from such medications in the end in that my eyes just kept on blinking rapidly non-stop and it was totally beyond my control.

I have sought numerous medical treatments for such sickness and included below is my experience of getting totally cured from the Tardive Dyskinesia-induced non-stop rapid eye blinking sickness through acupuncture treatment as well as my mental sickness and I hope that the information provided will be useful to the intended readers. Thank you.

http://community.kget.com/forums/thread/2561470.aspx

Forum: Success Stories