Jewish Pregnancy Bulletin Board

Real Jewish Moms: Back in Zion (with Rachel Oppenheim)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Thur, 08 May 2008 19:52:39 GMT

Why would a nice Jewish girl from Texas move to the Middle East? Inspiring words from Jerusalem mother Rachel Oppenheim on her decision to go against the flow, and make aliya.

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

Real Jewish Moms: Balance (with Michelle Cohen)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Thur, 08 May 2008 19:47:03 GMT

What's more important for a mother? Meeting your needs, or meeting your child's needs? The key is discovering the right balance. Michelle Cohen explains why a fulfilled mother is a happy mother.

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

Jewish Telegraph Feature Article about Me!

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 08:36:11 GMT

check out this nice article about me...click on the attachment below

Forum: Announcements

Real Jewish Moms: Patience (Rebbetzin Judy Brodt)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Thur, 03 Apr 2008 09:52:49 GMT

Have your kids ever tried your patience? Rebbetzin Judy Brodt's kids were trying her's too...

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

Real Jewish Moms: Ricka (with Ricka van Leeuwen)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:37:24 GMT

Jewish mom, Ricka Van Leeuwen, shares her thoughts on getting married at 19, Janis Joplin, and the source of true happiness.

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

Real Jewish Moms: The Goal (with Ricka Van Leeuwen)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:33:00 GMT

"When you wake up at 3 AM to care for a child who has just wet his bed, you ask yourself, "'Where is the meaning?'" This is the question that Ricka Van Leeuwen asks and answers in this inspiring video.

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

Real Jewish Moms: 7 years (with Michal Fahrner)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:28:50 GMT

Michal Fahrner describes what it was like to find out she was pregnant after 7 years waiting for a child. (Hear more from Michal Fahrner in "Everyone's Baby")

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

Real Jewish Moms: Everyone's Baby (with Michal Fahrner)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 09:25:11 GMT

What mother Michal Fahrner loves the most about being a mother after 7 years waiting for a child.

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

Post Partum Depression

Anonymous — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 09:46:07 GMT

after my son was born, i was so happy. On about day 3 this feeling of being utterly blessed and complete was replaced by a feeling of dread...how could i live without him? this fear over losing him turned into a type of anxiety where everything i did concerning him was filled with anxiety, even leaving the house filled me with anxiety. i couldnt fall in a deep sleep and the sleep i had was filled with fitful dreams. these were normal i suppose, symptomatic of hormonal changes, but without a support group, and with my family far away, my thoughts spiraled and spiraled and i felt very lonely and anxious at the thought of my husband going to work and leaving me with my son all day. i loved him so much, and enjoyed our time together but i was very anxious....is he happy? have i fed him correctly? is he on schedule? am i doing the right thing?? reading self help books made it worse. and things pretty much carried on like this for a while but it was okay, i managed, i just felt very stressed and highly strung.

not realizing i had developed a mild form of Post Partum Depression, i fell pregnant with my daughter when my son was 10 months. from there the anxiety escalated into panic attacks. if my husband would leave me alone to go to the synagogue i would panic, start hyperventilating, sweating. i was scared and very lonely. i became very scared and utterly exhausted because i couldnt fall asleep. this moved into a full blown depression where i was unable to cope with little activities such as bathtime etc. i always did everything to take care of my kids but i didnt take time for myself and i was suffocating behind a veil of depressive thoughts and almost robotic actions.

the reason i wanted to share my story was to let other mothers know how important friends are and how important this website is, cos it lets mothers who are at home all day, know they are not alone,

with the help of a therapist and medication, i am back to my normal self. i sleep deeply and peacefully, i love spending time with my kids and I've learnt to chill out. If the kids are off schedule i dont panic, I've learnt to roll with the punches and avoid ideals of perfection.

its so important to go to mother-baby groups, to share your fears, to express your insecurities, to admit we dont know the first thing about raising a child....but we try our best and everyday brings its own challenges and blessings.
if you feel high levels of anxiety, have trouble sleeping (falling asleep and staying asleep), if you have bouts of sadness and loneliness,
maybe you should talk to someone.

Forum: Jewish Pregnancy

What am I Living For?- with cameo appearance by MY HUSBAND!

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Thur, 13 Mar 2008 20:46:20 GMT

The video that is creating a sensation among Jewish mothers across the globe. 20 Jewish moms talk about their lives. Inspiring, moving, and absolutely unforgettable.

Created by award-winning filmmaker Shmuel Hoffman and produced by me.

Something interesting- there are two versions of this video. The version on YouTube, and this version- which includes a cameo appearance by MY HUSBAND!!!! That is why this version is my absolute favorite!!! Check it out!- chana

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

Real Jewish Moms: If Mom Ain't Happy (with Leah Hartman)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Thur, 13 Mar 2008 11:05:02 GMT

Jerusalem Mom, Leah Hartman, reflects on the challenge and the importance of being a happy mommy.

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg

The Jewish Press on my new book!

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Thur, 13 Mar 2008 10:28:32 GMT

from the Jewish Press Column:

Impact of Women on Jewish History

Chana Jenny Weisberg's Secrets of Jewish Motherhood

When my first baby was born, I badly missed guidance for life with this new wonder. Where were the written instructions that I should have delivered together with the infant? How I wished for a handbook of what to do and feel, of when, why and how -- a book to pat me on the shoulder and steady my hand!

Finally such a book came off the print. Chana Weisberg did the writing, and Urim Pubications did the printing. Although, believe it or not, my first baby is a grandfather, I find the volume, One Baby Step at a Time: Seven Secrets of Jewish Motherhood, the handbook I have been waiting for.

Chana (Jenny) Weisberg, the Internets Jewish Pregnancy Lady confides the seven timeless secrets of Jewish wisdom that have enabled women throughout Jewish history to enrich their lives and those of their families with spiritual harmony. Chana Weissbergs revelations serve as a practical guide for young mothers groping in the fog of inexperience.

One Baby Step at a Time serves as a virtual sequel to the authors first book, Expecting Miracles; Finding Meaning and Spirituality in Pregnancy Through Judaism, in itself a portrait of the world of miracles, of faith, of G-d-intoxication, that Chana Weisberg so subtly and masterfully paints.

This later work, in addition to historical secrets of Jewish motherhood, is an anthology composed of Chana Weisbergs own trials, tribulations and delights of motherhood; autobiographical essays about the joys and hardships of abrupt transition from being a full-time student to becoming a full-time mother, peppered with wise tidbits gleaned from the teachings of professional educators. The closing section -- interviews done with seven young mothers who reveal their parenting experiences, the lessons they learned and the conclusions they drew from them -- serves as an apt finale to this volume.

Chana Weisbergs popular website www.JewishPregnancy.org is receiving as many as 100,000 visitors a month. She started the website as a young mother, five years after her marriage to Rabbi Joshua Weisberg, director of the Post-High-School program at Nishmat: the Jerusalem Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women.

We met in Jerusalem, and married here as well, in 1996, Chana reveals. Now she is the mother of five: the oldest, ten-year old Hadas is a fourth-grader, seven-year old Hallel is in the second grade, five-year old Maayan is in kindergarten and two-year old Moriah is followed by ten months-old Yoel.

How did it happen that Jenny Freedman, who was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland, receiving her elementary education at Friends School and her higher education at Bowdoin College in Maine, embarked on a voyage to the spiritual radiance of Judaism?

As with many other young Jews, Jennys journey to the Torah began with a trip to the Land, and it was the impact of Israels magic that prompted her process of teshuva, return to the faith, simultaneously with her aliya, ascent to the Land -- making her home in Israel. Israel the Land is an integral part of the indivisible triple cord (chut ha-meshulash) of our existential entity as Jews -- the Torah of Israel, the Land of Israel and the People of Israel. Membership in the congregation of the People obliges embracing the other two aspects of our existence.

Motherhood is undoubtedly a holy task: this is the secret revealed in Chana Weisbergs work. Besides her unique book, her series of two-minute films called "The Real Jewish Moms Film Series" on her website www.JewishMom.com, help mothers sense spiritual bliss in the midst of their demanding, all-absorbing and often difficult responsibilities.

By the time you put down this book, I pray that you will be able to smile at the truth of the statement: Mothers are changing the world one diaper at a time," Rebbetzin Weisberg remarks. May this book validate our experiences at the same time that it inspires us and empowers us to make Jewish motherhood a bit easier and smoother, infusing our mothering lives with more happiness and holiness, Chana Weisberg writes in conclusion.

Having read her book, I wish to reassure the author that her aspirations have been admirably achieved.

-Professor Livia Bitton-Jackson

The Jewish Press

Forum: Announcements

The Roommate

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 07:08:46 GMT

from Shabbat Shalom Newsletter of the Orthodox Union

February 27, 2008
The Roommate
By Devorah Yaffa Singer, as told to Chana Jenny Weisberg

We shared a hospital room together. In the beginning, I didnt feel comfortable engaging my roommate in conversation. She was clearly in pain and whatever I had just gone through, it was obvious that her distress was far greater even than my own.

As if through a thick fog, I took note of the frequent changing of the guards on the other side of the curtain that divided our small room in half. I would see a slight fluttering of the curtain when new family members arrived and others left after an hour or two of chatting, fluffing pillows, and reciting whispered prayers that were barely audible over the near-silent turning of pages.

My husband had left for home several hours before to put our children to bed. Now I was alone for the first time since we had rushed to the hospital when I had started bleeding the day before. As I lay in the hard hospital bed, memories of that days procedure as well as the horrible nausea, a side effect of the anesthesia, prevented me from sleeping despite my exhaustion.

Noticing my quiet moans, I heard my roommate on the other side of the curtain say to her mother in a low voice, Immale, see if she needs anything. It was at that moment that I became aware of the privilege that would be mine to share my hospital room and my challenge with a truly great woman.

It reminded me of something a wise woman once told me many years ago when I was newly married. She had said: Never forget, Devorah, that within every challenge in life you can always find the good. You can always see G-ds kindness. When I heard my roommates concern, I realized how true these words were. I saw that G-d had granted me the kindness of sharing one of the darkest days of my life with a woman whose soul was so great that her own suffering did not blind her to the suffering of others.

From the other side of the curtain, as she spoke with her many visitors, I heard my roommates constant and sincere refrain of Thank G-d With G-ds helpG-d willing Over and over these words reverberated throughout the otherwise cold and bare hospital room. I felt her words warming me. I felt them lifting me, syllable by syllable, out of the dark place that the events of the past day had pushed me into.

When visiting hours were over, I pulled aside the curtain a little bit. I introduced myself, and asked my roommate if she needed anything from the nurses station. She told me that her name was Bracha. No, thank you. I have everything I need, she assured me. She looked at me with such serenity, such kindness, that I felt the radiance of her name, which means blessing, emanating from her eyes.

We started talking. Where was she from? When had she arrived at the hospital? I wondered what had brought her to the hospital that day, but I also knew that I could not ask. With the same serenity, the same gentleness, Bracha answered my unasked question. I am 41 years old. I came to Israel from Russia when I was seven years old. Then she paused a moment and continued: This was my first pregnancy. My husband and I had prayed for so many years to finally become parents, but that was not what G-d, in His infinite wisdom, wanted. Hashem Yaazor. G-d will help

Tears came to our eyes.

Bracha and I, I realized, were nearly the same age. We had both woken up the previous morning carrying a child, and would go to sleep that night bereft. But there was one significant difference between us. I had been blessed with four healthy, beautiful children who were anxiously waiting at home for their mothers return, while Brachas homecoming would be to an empty apartment.

As disappointed and heart broken as I was, I really had so much to be grateful for. So where were all my exclamations of Thank G-d and G-d will help? I decided that our similarities as well as our differences were something that I needed to give some thought to.

That night, neither Bracha nor I got much sleep. Under any other circumstances, that night would have been a nightmare: the unceasing nausea, the crippling back pain, the debilitating weakness. But being able to share our pain and discomfort transformed that night into a unique experience of kindness and friendship. Bracha and I took turns helping one another to the bathroom. When I was too weak to call the nurse, Bracha called her for me. At three in the morning, when I felt like I just could not stand it any more, Bracha reminded me, Believe me, Devorah, G-d loves us. He loves us every bit as much as a mother loves her only child.

In Brachas presence, I felt G-ds love surrounding the both of us as clearly as I felt the hospital blanket warming my shivering body.

Close to daybreak, I finally fell asleep, and woke up the following morning free from nausea, and with some of my strength back. Soon I would be discharged. I longed to return to my home and my children in order to fill the void that this sudden miscarriage had left in its wake.

And yet a part of me craved the possibility of remaining in that small cubicle of a hospital room with the curtain pulled back. If I remained with Bracha long enough, maybe some of her unshakeable faith would rub off on me as well. This was, I knew, what I would need to guide me through the coming weeks and months tinged with sadness and loss.

Maybe some of Brachas faith already had rubbed off on me?

When we parted that day, Bracha and I embraced. I felt as close to her as though Bracha was a sister, and not somebody who had been a complete stranger only 24 hours before.

I do not know if I will ever see Bracha again, but she reinforced for me a lesson that I will carry with me always. She reminded me that G-d is always at my side, just beyond the curtain that divides between this world and the next. And if I want to find Him, all I need to do is pull that curtain aside ever so slightly by opening my eyes, and opening my heart.

Mrs. Devorah Yaffa Singer lives in Israel with her husband and four children. She is the originator of a new series of workshops for women called Bonei Emunah (Emunah builders). This workshop is ideally suited for individuals and small groups who want to learn how to strengthen their G-d awareness and develop practical tools to access and build upon their emunah resources for healing, spiritual empowerment, and greater joy in living. For more information, email to

Chana Jenny Weisberg is the author of the newly-released book One Baby Step at a Time: Seven Secrets of Jewish Motherhood (Urim) and the creator of the popular website www.JewishMom.com.

Forum: Articles by Chana (Jenny) Weisberg

One Size Fits All?

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:20:47 GMT

Friday, February 29, 2008, from ASimpleJew.com

Question & Answer With Chana Jenny Weisberg - One Size Fits All?

(Picture courtesy of 21centuryconnections.com)

A Simple Jew asks:

A friend recently told me a story how he learned that he must use different a technique to motivate each of his children.

Returning home one night after work, he decided to give his kids an incentive to get their homework done quickly. "Once you get your homework done, we can all go out and get some ice cream!", he excitedly told them.

His daughter eagerly and instantly complied and completed her homework in a short period of time.

His oldest son completed his homework after repeated prompting and prodding to hurry up.

His middle son ignored his father. When reminded that he would not be getting any ice cream unless he finished his homework, the son replied, "I don't want ice cream" - thereby removing any power the father had over him.

Have you been successful to find the unique motivation technique for each of your children?

Chana Jenny Weisberg answers:

Every parent wants to raise children who fulfill their responsibilities with a feeling of joy followed by a sense of well-deserved satisfaction.

It is often difficult for young children to feel that joy without parental encouragement to sweeten the new skill they are learning. Different children will face different challenges that parents will need to be at the ready to sweeten. One child has difficulty sharing, another clearing her plate after lunch, and yet another has difficulty finishing his homework quickly, like the child in this example.

Because children are different in personality as well as age, every parent will need to be creative and attentive to figure out how to motivate every unique child in a positive manner.

Here are two ideas about motivating children based on stories from my own parenting life:

1. Age Appropriate Encouragement- My 3rd grader was recently having difficulty remembering to recite blessings before she ate. I thought back to my parenting class, and remembered that our teacher had suggested that every time a child recites a blessing, the parent should encourage the child by calling out with a lot of excitement, You made an angel! since every time a Jew does a mitzvah, that creates an angel.

The next time we had a meal together, I decided that every time a child said a blessing out loud, I would call out, You made an angel!

My younger children loved it, and started saying all their blessings in a loud voice, and got a wide, proud smile when I said that they had made an angel. But when I saw my 3rd grader picking up a piece of food, and I called out in my best nursery-school-teacher voice Make an angel! she became very upset. Youre talking to me like a baby! and she began to cry with her head in her hands, and ran out of the room.

Children of different ages require different motivational strategies. The Rambam discussed this issue when he described how to motivate children of various ages to study Torah. When a child is young, the parent should give him nuts and honey and dates. When he grows older and rejects these small gifts, the father should give him fine clothes, and when he grows yet older and rejects these, the father should give him gifts of money. Afterwards, when he grows still older, the father should say, "Study Torah and you will become a leader and be called Rabbi. And afterwards he should say, "With Torah you will merit paradise. And when he becomes wise, his father should train him to learn Torah for its own sake.

I decided to try a different strategy more suited to my 3rd grader. I bought a bag of chocolate chips, and before the next meal I placed a row of cups on the table with the name of each child written on it. Every blessing recited out loud resulted in two chocolate chips in that childs cup. My 2nd grader got excited about this idea, and while her younger siblings eat their chocolate chips every evening after dinner, my 3rd grader saves up her chocolate chips for weeks at a time. At present she has 85 chocolate chips in her cup (I know because she counted them last night), and is planning to eat them all Erev Pesach!

2. Ask the Child- I had a child in kindergarten who would wake up at dawn, long before her siblings, but would play with her dolls and draw, and would not get dressed. All of my other children would wake up, get dressed, eat their breakfast, and would be all ready when it was time for me to take them to school. But my kindergartner was never ready on time, which resulted in a lot of nagging by me and crying by her and stress for the Weisberg family all around.

Some days I tried to motivate my kindergartner by promising her a note for her teacher. The promise of a note worked at times, but mostly it didnt. Then I bought her some special chocolates wrapped in shiny yellow wrapper at the store. The promise of a chocolate worked a few times, but then they lost their effect as well.

I had no idea what to do. The situation went on for months and months, and it was only getting worse and worse. Then one day I was sitting with a friend in the park, and she suggested something so simple, so obvious, but yet very, very smart. She said, Why dont you ask your daughter what to do so she could get dressed in time?

That very evening I sat down with my daughter on the sofa and had a talk that we should have had many months before. My daughter suggested that we create a sticker chart. For every five mornings she gets ready on time, she gets a prize from the dollar store.

You can already guess the end of the story. With that motivation, my kindergartner became the first family member dressed every morning. To this day, several years later, that child always is one of the first children to get dressed, and has never once missed the school bus.

At this point, I would also like to make a side point that probably a lot of readers are asking themselves. If you give the child a prize/treat to do something, wont that child become dependent on prizes/treats to do what they need to do? This is an excellent and very valid question.

But as the Rambam assured us a thousand years ago, and as I have seen without exception in my own parenting experience with dozens and dozens of sticker charts etc., if done correctly, the prize/treat phase is just a bridge to ease the child into a new way of doing things. After a few weeks/months the child forgets about the prize/treat, but continues the new behavior.

One last note in this topic. When a child is difficult to motivate through positive means, our first instinct is often to turn to anger and yelling. There is a place for strict discipline in parenting, but the ratio of negative to positive methods should be like the ratio of salt to sugar in a cake recipe. Or the amount we use our right hand vs. our left hand when hammering a nail into the wall. We need the left hand to keep the nail steady and straight, but the vast majority of the force comes from the right hand. And this is the way it should be in parenting as well.

Raising children is a big challenge and a tremendous privilege as well. Each and every Jewish parent is helping to mold the next generation of the Jewish people. We build our children, and our children build us. This is the work that Hashem gives us in the world to serve Him.

--
Chana Jenny Weisberg is the author of the newly-released book One Baby Step at a Time: 7 Secrets of Jewish Motherhood and the creator of the popular website http://www.jewishmom.com/

Forum: Articles by Chana (Jenny) Weisberg

Real Jewish Moms: The Gift (with Leah Hartman)

Chana Jenny Weisberg — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:17:01 GMT

Mother of 3, Leah Hartman, reflects on toilet training, motherhood, and prayer.

Forum: 2-minute Movies by Chana Jenny Weisberg