[Sign Guestbook]
Last Day You Placed A Bet OCt 16 09 Location Toronto Comments: In my AA 12 step program it talks of my life depends on my constant thought of what i can give to the world.vs. what i can take. , and if all else fails than to find another alcoholic to help. I would say that this is true also for my gambling addiction. My oldest GD phoned last night and asked if i would be able to drive her to the mall this morning.....because i had no other plans i did just that. The result was..it took ME out of ME ...out of my head and into life. Hubby hasn't been feeling the greatest the past couple of months., and to boot business has been very slow. He wanted to take me out for dinner and to see the Michael Jackson movie " This is it"....we did that and instead of him reaching for his wallet and paying, i told him i was treating him., same for the movie. Sort of shocked him i think..bit i could see that he was SO pleased. Took ME out of ME again and it was a lovely evening all around. We both loved the MJ movie of his last rehearsals for , what was to be his last tour. Tomorrow i have asked a friend if he would come and help clean out the eves throfs and i also phones oldest son and family to come for dinner...if i don't plan, if i don't commit then i will procrastinate and isolate. I heard a speaker once say " the more i commit the healther i am". Seems to work for me as well, when i am willing to work it. .......
Comments: Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence
Comments: You are right Brian it does not make sense, at least to my thinking. Most things that have worked in recovery for me don’t make sense. So often I never felt I could move on and believe in things unless they made sense, I was sure a program or therapy or spiritual action or whatever had to be based in something that made sense for it to work. It made sense to me if I had a gambling problem then gambling was my problem, if it was removed things would day by day get better. It made sense to me the world would be a better place without legalised gambling, it made sense that if I didn’t have money I could not gamble, it made sense to me that the I gamble so much because I live in a country (Australia) that has more forms of legalised gambling and more slots per capita than any country in the world. I can go on and on about what made sense to me. It also made sense to me that $20 won’t hurt this time, it made sense to me that I worked for the money so I deserve to do with it what I want, It made sense to me that surely I will win sometimes. The point is the organ I use to make sense of things doesn’t seem to work properly. So often I have found the gap between what made sense and TRUTH was wider than the Grand Canyon. I don’t know why I am like this, and I am sure I am not the only one, but until I admitted that there was nothing I can do on my own power (that same will power I use to make sense of things) I was always blaming something else and never ever happy joyous and free. Most of this stuff I discuss is Hindsight stuff, the only way I came to believe was because I was backed into a corner, I tried everything and if I had any other choice there is no way I would have picked up the basic text 12 step program, if I could stay abstinent just going to GA and was happy that is exactly what I would do but I needed more. I cant convince you Brian of any of this your own experience will do that, maybe you are a person who can stay away from a bet and be happy by strategically placing yourself where you cant gamble, but if you are like me life on your insides wont get better it will get worse and someday sometime you may be sitting in front of a slot machine or gaming table 500 miles from where you live thinking “how the hell did I let this happen again”.
Comments: Its 5pm..dinner is in the oven..and thanks for the posts..Gan..Connie..Abby..Jose..thank you very much.. Gan..on the value of money, a very typical thing..for me too..I was able to feed a slot machine with endless amounts of dollars and then cheapo when it came to feeding us..I have heard it over and over that a compulsive gambler WANTS to lose, its the feeling of loss that is our sickness..I for sure, had a need to punish myself..and was one of the biggest losers on the planet..for sure..but..in recovery really do feel like a winner. Hope you all have a good evening bet free.. 
Last Day You Placed A Bet May 23, 2004 Location U.S.A. Comments: The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil. -Heywood Broun There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. -Jack Yelton Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. -R.E. Shay You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it. -Albert Einstein A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. -Author Unknown
Comments: Hello everyone. I am a cg. Wishing everyone a gambling free weekend. A man in GA once told me there are members who were gamblers on anything all there lives on something and those that were blindsided by the boats / casinos. If compulsive gambling is defined as gambling despite negative consequences I can honestly say that I am in the category of being blindsided by the boats and if they were not here I would not be gambling despite negative consequences. I know this is true for many people I talk to and it is contradictory to the disease model and grouping all cgs together I guess. But it is true for many people. I try not to get into learning about gambling anymore I gave up but just in case and I don't blame the boats because entry is voluntary. But just for the value of someone posting and not thinking they are alone. I know what that is like. Good day (((Everyone)))
Location Seattle Comments: Edie, I was an on-line fiend too. It wasn't poker- although sometimes I tried those games. But mostly it was the on-line slots. The bad thing about on-line is that you can't just show up with X amount of money, lose it and then leave. You have constant access to your banking and can continue to transfer more and more. You're also in the privacy of your own home or office and it's easy to come back to throughout the day, too. You can sit there with your glass of wine in your bunny slippers and pound away without being bothered. To me it was the ultimate in escapism. I didn't have to be bothered by a Chatty Cathy and I didn't have to leave in an hour to go pick up a kid. They were asleep in their beds upstairs. And something about it felt a heck of a lot like a video game. And since you never even saw the money- it didn't really even seem real. But I too lost tens of thousands in this way. I Edie, I used to feel the exact same way you do. What middle-aged mother of 5 does this kind of thing? I knew it was seriously screwed up- but I was compelled to do it again and again. When I found Safe Harbor and connected with other CG's- I was able to start stopping. I think I had almost a year clean when I learned that on-line casino's were banned for Washington State residents. That meant that I could no longer even sign on to them! About 15 months into recovery I had a relapse. I believe it might have happened sooner and been much worse if I had access to the on-line slots. On-line was my favorite poison of all- but no longer available. Yes, I was given a hand up. Somehow a road block was set up that helped me immeasurably (I certainly can't take credit for that.) But like others have pointed out- there will always be a gambling venue available to the person who seeks it out. There is a big, beautiful casino within 25 minutes drive of my house. But since this was not my normal routine- it wasn't ingrained in me to go there. Not like it was with the on-line slots. I have a problem with impulsiveness and routine. I am vulnerable to both. Because it requires real preparation to drive to the casino and because this was not my normal course of action when I gambled, it was not as easy for me to relapse. Oh but when I became really determined to self-torture- I made my way that casino (although I did take the wrong exit and got lost.) There are a lot of ways to gamble. For some people the machines are in their stores and coffee houses. For others they are tickets available at the grocery stores or gas station. Your local pub might host a betting board for ball games. Friends will throw poker games and invite you, or the company you work for arranges a Christmas party on a gambling boat. You can't even go to church without finding a raffle ticket fund-raiser for a quilt made by the ladies Sewing Circle. The opportunity is just there! So in the end, it comes down to hard work and dedication to your recovery. Finding something- anything that works for YOU. Be it GA, the chat room, the buddy system, the posting board, counseling, medication- whatever! If you want it bad enough- you'll find it (recovery or a way to gamble!)
Last Day You Placed A Bet july-19-09 Location LAS VEGAS,NV Comments: GOOD MORNING EVERY ONE: im jose a CG. there im walkin in to the casino ,I been doing this for last 20 years , im a casino worker and a CG toooo. I watching the same stage every day, the crowd gathered around the gambling tables and slot machines , they're yelling and drinking, today I doont need to get in on the action to feel ok about my live. For my every day is a holliday. Im not gambling any more. my life is so simple. go in to the casino do my job and come back to home. I know how difficult is living under the umbrella of the gambling adiction . that is a hard way to live. today I can choice between be the problem or be the solution. Thank you to god and the life for get my the chance to be part of GA , thank you every one for cheer on this pace. for today Im not gambling . happy 24 hrs, all of you.
Comments: Hi all...just checking in. Making myself accountable...right here...right now. It's a good place to be. =) I woke up this morning and thought to myself....ugh. My gambling addiction is still here. Not that I felt an urge to gamble...but more like I wish I was past this. Then I remembered that wishing or feeling resentful was just a waste of my precious energy...haha...some lessons do stick in my foggy mind! =) Sooooo....I started making a plan for my day. Get up...have coffee...journal...try to catch some of the online meeting before I have to go to work...come home...maybe journal some more...sleep. Hey.....there's no gambling in that plan! =) As I was journalling this morning (I'm still working on my step one work)...I discovered yet another symptom of my disease. I have an extrememly warped sense of the value of money. I'm not sure if I can explain this right but when it comes to spending money on normal like things...(like a jar of peanut butter for example or a box of kleenex)...I'm reluctant. I look for the good bargain...is there a coupon for this? Woohoo a buck of Skippy's! Yet....I could feed hundreds of dollars into a slot machine without so much as a blink of an eye. Yup. One powerless puppy here. Have a good day all. G.
Last Day You Placed A Bet march 6/2002 Location british columbia Comments: ITS A NEW DAY Blame game..the problem is ME..pointing fingers..thanks for all these posts. For sure, my gambling problem was a living problem and I was the culprit..I was the one with the problem called gambling addiction..I had to seek help and I have to live day by day..otherwise..well..my mind goes biserk..that is the bottom line. Of course we can plan..we must make plans, but I dont have any idea of the outcome(thanks Sandra for that).. Yesterday I met a young mother who was so like me in so many ways, she follows rules..and does what she is told..that was me..and to a certain extent me today. If I read that something isnt good for me, I will believe it..so an advantage actually. When my gambling addiction counsellor told me I was a compulsive gambler, I was so happy to hear there was a name for this crazyness..then we started looking at the root cause..and that was me..biggest problem..I had no self worth..hmmmmmmmmmm....then the journey began.............................. My addiction is not a boogy man..in the closet..its a very real thing..that would pop up when I was not paying attention to what was happening in my life..I would then need an escape..and how perfect was that..WELL..not so perfect for me today..living in the day, dealing with emotions..all works best .. I believe it was Erin who posted about excitement..delayed gratification rather than instant gratification has become such a tool for me. Once the disaster I had made financially was paid off..and I was fortunate, only took 2 years..we were able to go away ..our first trip to Kaui Hawaii..now that was delayed gratification..I saved every penny...for that one..its amazing how much left over money I had when I stopped gambling..why I love Dave of g..100% raise..anyway..long enough for me today..Carpe Diem..seize the day..make it count
Comments: Good day SAFE HARBOR (((FRIENDS))). Congratulations to those who are stringing together those gamble-free days. ONE DAY AT A TIME!  When I was a gambling fool I was pretty good at playing the "blame game." Use to tell myself that it was the casino's fault ... or the gov't ... or other people who pee'd me off ... and on and on. Bottom line was, no one forced me to go. As long as I was determined to blame someone or something for my gambling I would hold resentments and we all know where resentments keep you. Today I don't think about the why's...but rather the how's. HOW to stay stopped gambling. So far, it's working so I'll continue to go with that.  Wishing (((ALL))) a gamble-free 24! bye now CJ
Last Day You Placed A Bet yesterday Location vancouver Comments: murray that makes no sense i was fine before i went to my first casino but when i won the seed was planted so no i was not a compulsive gambler before casinos arrived here anyway whatever
Comments: Hi all from sunny yet cold England. I explained back along that due to personal circumstances I will only be able to chair every other Saturday. Thanks to everyone who has chaired in my absence. Today is one of the days I cannot chair but I understand there will be a meeting .Thank you. Hope it is a good one. Last Saturday was very well attended and some good and honest sharing.
Last Day You Placed A Bet June 04/02 and Gratefullllllllllll Location Sunny, CRisp..South Western Ont.. Canada Comments:   'Good Morning Allllllllll Harborites.. 'Sandra here a recoverying compulsive gambler.. ''And Today 'am venturing outside of my House to attend a Karate tournament.. 'where one of my Grandsons.. is 'participating.  .''I am not concerened of the ''What if's anymore..   ''LIke what if they are 'having a raffle.. what iffen they are selling tickets.. ' what if < I see a 'billboard.. ''' ,,, I have learned to Pass by 'every one of these lovely little '' HEy '"YOU>> ''Over Here ,, look ,, look. ah come on !!!!!!!, , LOok..  . BRain FArts...  ..'''EAch time,, Each one, that I passed UP,, Passed by,, I became stronger. '''less and less'' draw'-'pull -triggers..-To Gamble.. ..'Of course I 'was like a small child, with 'five fingers over my eyes in the beginning with one space between a finger to '''''PEEK'''    .. Sneek a Peek 'syndrome .... ... it only churned up my innerds.. gut thingie for me..Bubble wrap is for protecting fragile 'valuable 'items 'to ship.. , I was not 'protected by ''that Popping 'plastic.. .'My quest 'was to '' be able to ''go out into the World.. ''again. ''raw.. fragile, vulnerable.. with ''' Protection of '.. Honesty .. ''''When I 'accepted, Surrendered to the Facts.. . ''I 'can't wager risking ', at anything.. '' it 'will just set off my'' want, need , have , to 'bet again. Cycle.. ''' I stayed free from the ''bets.. ''''And the Biggie , was ''accepting that I would be 'tempted.. '' IT WAS NORMAL,, 'I am a compulsive gambler.. '' So ''I went with the flow of it's NORMAL for me.... it will happen.. off and on.. and it's Okay.. 'So less beating self up, with guilts of 'OH mY'' I shouldn't think or 'feel ''Ever again.. at any time..........''was just added set up.. to 'maybe -''beat self up enough '''>>>'KERSPLATTIES.. <<< uGLY '.. ...----------------------- ''As far as telling anyone anything. frankly ''the ''CONSEQUENCES WERE MY BEST TEACHERS... .. iF Anyone has children, grandchildren.. 'or kids 'around them.. 'haven't you heard yourself say: Don't run,, don't climb, don't 'go there, don't drink that,, don't '.. play with them. 'the list goes on and on... '' Hell I needed ''Bubble Wrap' for mine.. they did everything ''.. All I could do as a parent 'was ''' : Not say I 'told yah so ' ; but --''What did you LEARN.....(my mother was 'great at saying , "I told yah so ''....)''Same for when ''I 'feel/sense others 'who , I know are setting themselves up.. to gamble........''I can't stop Anyone as I could not be stopped.. then.. " ..''I am not God Anymore.. '' ..''CONSEQUENCES. hard , hurting ''Realities.. 'not some ''clouting , scolding 'above , over Words.  .The truth.. how does anyone ''Learn the ''truth of their 'Addiction. ' 'CONSEQUENCES.....'Did it for ME.. '' .'''IN the beginning I used ''roadblocks.. detors, with 'no access to monies.. no 'cards of any type.. no nottin honey.. So when any of these ''' we darling 'brain farts arrived.. ''I had no ''cash'' to invest a risk.. '''And the Reality for me 'was: How come you don't have ''Access. Oh yah , Am a compulsive Gambler.. 'New to Recovery....... and I 'spent', gambled.. have debt 'big time.. ............yeppers that '' WAS me..'''...------------------- Today things have changed .. I do have 'Access.. ; but the Difference is ': The fog HAS cleared..+ ''time away from the 'bet.. I can think Now.. I can 'reason ' now... I can ''choose.. I Like CHOICES ..'''FReedom ''',, and I sure was a hostage of my addiction '.....with no FREEDOM.. then.. '' ''-----------Dennis... Rope of Hope with 'giving a Link ''WTG.. ''edie.. Hang on.. Aaron-----------hold tight-------''Tom S. a Life'-'busy..productive ''(how was conference ?). ''off I go 'to 'live in the Day.. ''BE STrong.. BE Safe..(no monies honey).Be Connected.. Sandra gams5..
Last Day You Placed A Bet 9/01/09 Comments: Thank you all who post. Good and bad. My life has become much better . Bills are getting paid. Sometimes late but they get paid. Electric is paid. I can buy the groceries. Oreos are on the list. Ice cream is on the list. I am blessed today. The debts that i incurred that resulted in my compulsive gambling are big. The thing is I am not adding to the debt today. So every month i am able to put a little dent in the debt. Thank you all who come here and post and keep this site up and running. Its time for everyone that can to send the bucks to safe harbor. This site cost money to keep up and running without it many would be back out there. I dont want to go back to the way I was. Lets all get along. Be nice. I have enough problems at home.
Comments: November 7 Reflection of the Day
Last Day You Placed A Bet 11/6/09 Location texas Comments: I tried the gambling blocker and it really screwed up my computer and it is our business computer too.....had to pay to have it removed.....I just need someone to tell me that online gambling NEVER really lets you win...and I am smart enough to know that...what is wrong with me...I am so strong in so many other areas of my life!!!!
Location North Dakota, USA Comments: Hello Safe Harborites. I was just reading the posts....some great reading material....thanks to all for that. To anyone that is an on line gambler there are a couple sites available that may help you....there are ways of blocking your computer so you can't gamble on line.....one site can be found at http://www.betfilter.com which has a trial offer on it's home page....the other site I have heard about can be found at http://www.gamblock.com I was never an on line gambler so I'm not sure how these sites work but they may be worth the effort to check them out. I hope this helps someone today. Hope you all have a gamble free 24! Be good to yourselves. YBIR Dennis Y
Last Day You Placed A Bet 11/5/09 Location texas Comments: SURLY I am the only middle-aged woman in the world who cannot stop on line poker and backgammon no matter how hard I try...and lost thousands. I cannot do this anymore..I hate myself.......
Location Minneapolis, MN Comments: In a last ditch effort to save my life I walked into a GA meeting.
My problem was not gambling, my problem was Tom. I could and did stop many, many times. Staying stopped was always temporary until I applied the 12 steps to the real problem...Tom The practice of the steps did not make me stop gambling. The pain and misery were the source of a desire to stop. The practice of the steps gave me the tools, the framework, on which to build a way of living that did not require gambling. The obsession was and has been lifted for many years. Will it return tomorrow? Ask me then, I'm to busy living today. In love and fellowship Tom S |
| < Previous 20 | Next 20 > |
Back to Safe Harbor