Hello everyone. I am a cg. Thanks for all the posts. Boy found out today a relative's land was foreclosed because they put it as security for business. You would have to be an icycle to not feel bad for these economic times.  I cleared up some extra expenses - same as cash furniture - where you have to pay interest from day one if you are a minute left - Thank God I paid it. I am back to my plan but like a post "control" is an illusion - how have I managed so far thinking I have some lol. I pray that God helps those looking for work who are trying to keep their families afloat. I am a bit sore at a couple of others who I feel take advantage of my limited begrudging generosity - which I know is not generosity at all. Goodnight (((Everyone))).

Tonight when I found out a friend of mine is not doing to well it just makes want to go gamble. I found my brother has to get his live checked out. I hope it is not cancer. I am a very emotional person and when people I care about are hurting or dieing I just fall apart. I want to gamble tonight but have no money.

I was wondering if anyone has attended a inpatient rehab in south Florida. I am lucky enough to be able to take advantage of this option and am having a hard time finding any kind of rehab that deals with gambling addiction.

Hello everyone,

Thanks for ALL the posts!

Some musings on Step One and I do hope this may help someone today:

“Houston, we have a problem.”

“I can’t figure this out on my own.”

“I am crying for help.”

"I gambled all the fun out of it."

"I don't gamble because I can't win.  I can't win because I can't stop."

“I am willing to cry for help.”

“My gambling is so out of control, I no longer recognize who I have become.”

“Powerlessness is the heart and soul of it.”

“We can know no enduring strength until we have admitted complete defeat.”  This is the tap root, the origin of one’s recovery.

I hope you like this next one as much as I do; because I really think it captures the paradox of this addiction of compulsive gambling.  It’s my favorite metaphor about powerlessness:

Undoubtedly you already are familiar with it, the scene is from the comic strip PEANUTS penned by the creative genius Charles Schulz, Lucy is holding the football one more time as Charlie Brown thinks he is gonna kick it this time!  Charlie Brown, though he is powerless, is unwilling or unable to accept that;  thus, when he spots Lucy holding that football, he will run toward the football, Lucy will pull it back once more, Charlie Brown will go high in the air, scream and wail loudly, and come crashing down on his back one more time.  This addictive cycle is repeated over and over, ad nauseam, by Charlie Brown whenever he sees Lucy holding the football.  And it also shows how insidious this illness is for you and me, where advertising for scratch-offs and racetracks and casinos and all the rest are for us what Lucy holding the football is for Charlie Brown.  It simply never turns out the way that Charlie Brown sees it going in!  Sounds familiar, heh?

Although I can and do accept my powerlessness over gambling, Charlie Brown never does accept his powerlessness when Lucy is holding the football.   

"One bet is too many, a thousand are not enough" for a compulsive gambler:  Thus, the first bet is the one to avoid!

“I am powerless over gambling.”  “I own it.”  (this is not negative!  Taking this 1st step is a cause to rejoice; let’s have a party! as Fr. Ned likes to say)

One paradox of recovery is that out of defeat and despair comes hope!

Accepting one’s powerlessness is not the end.  It is the beginning of one’s recovery!  Recovery is a Gift, if we allow it.

When I work with new sponsees in GA, I usually ask them to write out answers to the Twenty Questions, in long form, especially recalling emotional moments from their gambling history.  This helps many to frame their powerlessness in a concrete manner, from their own personal experience.  This type of Step 1 inventory is a good exercise for anyone struggling with acceptance of being 'powerless over gambling'.

And here is my favorite wisdom from Rabbi Twerski on the subject:

"Powerlessness - Powerlessness is not unique to addiction. I once had a terrifying experience. The shortest route to the hospital was down a steep hill. When the hill was icy, the police would set up barricades. One day, seeing no barricades, I reasoned that the hill must be safe. It was not and, try as I might, I could not stop the car or steer it into the curb. At the foot of the hill was a busy thoroughfare, and I knew I was about to be killed. It was only by the grace of God that I slipped through that busy intersection unharmed. One young man asked me, 'Why didn't you just jump out of the car?' As I thought about his question, the answer became obvious. I did not jump out of the car because I kept on trying to control it. Even though my life was in danger, I stayed in the car trying to control the uncontrollable. Addicts are not the only people who cling to the illusion of control. But when addicts recover, they have an advantage because they now recognize their powerlessness. Though other people may have the same problem, they have not been in a recovery program, be it GA or AA or NA or another, and do not realize that they are trying to control the uncontrollable. This is what is meant by practicing the principles of the Twelve Steps in all our affairs."

Accepting my powerlessness over gambling, by the way, is a positive step!  (It's not a negative thing as I learned from Fr. Ned during a retreat in Montreal.)  If I admit that I am powerless over gambling today (and I do) let's have a party!!!  What a breakthrough, definitely it is cause for celebration!  Stopping is the starting point in recovery!

By the way, if anyone enjoys reading, pick up the classic 'Addictive Thinking: Understanding Self-Deception', by Abraham Twerski, M.D.

If you want the best of both worlds, several of Rabbi Twerski's books are illustrated with the PEANUTS comic strips  (Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, Sally, Schroder, Snoopy, and the rest of the gang).  Two of my favorites are:

"When Do the Good Things Start?"

"Waking Up Just in Time"  (on The 12 Steps)

And I can highly recommend a book titled,

"The Steps We Took", by Joe McQ;  it is very, very helpful!

Thanks again for listening.

Enjoy the journey,  peace,  Jim A

made day 4..............had a few thoughts of gambling........trying to stay focused.......odaat I will not gamble............

My name is Dave of Beckenham I am a compulsive Gambler and will be till the day I DIE!  But today I am able to be a far healthier person than just that?

In time I learned that I felt that the gambling controlled me, no matter how sure I was or how many promises I made I went back to the gambling.

In recovery I would do telephone duty and to help people understand more about a compulsive I would ask people would you expect an alcoholic to walk around with a bottle of whiskey in their pocket every day?

It helped people understand that money was the fuel for our addiction, yet if a compulsive agrees to not carry excessive amount of money on them that will not take away the desire to gamble that takes time.

In setting up road blocks you are trying to choice another alternative path in your life, that choice and the thought of change can be very scary.

Yet over time you exchange an unhealthy habit for a healthy habit. And by getting motivated you build confidence and yet the important thing you gain more trust in yourself and in your actions.

Money was never my problem it was very sad that I could not trust myself with money for some time.

Then what you discover is when you feel most vulnerable emotionally that is your trigger to escape one way or another. Some people it implies you want to escape life but that is not true.

When you grasp that anger comes from 3 feelings you can understand why you get angry and in understanding the base feelings you can process those feeling before you have to get angry.

Being obsessed about money or filled with worry and fear is not a healthy way to live your life, it is too stressful.

Money gives you more choices money never resolved any emotional issues. Often big money winners would waste all their money in search of true happiness.

How many rich people accumulate huge amounts of money only to finish up living in fear behind big iron gates, they finish up living like locker animals?

Sadly I was mistaken years ago that all successful and wealthy people were money and material motivated, then found out that not all people are that way that in fact goal setting was to be successful, money and wealth was the rewards of their efforts and their success.

How do we measure success in our life today? Is success having a healthy very spiritual family where there is plenty of love affection and people can be honest with each other at every level?

There was a time I thought money would resolve every emotional issue I had, now I understand that more money gives you more choices what to do with your life. But in terms of my relationships that is measured by how much effort I put in to those relationships and how honest I can be with all people today.

In growing in spiritual values I am able to relearn those spiritual values I lost due to poor child hood programming, I was born completely free of all fears, I was born completely honest, and I was born being able to love unconditionally.

Sadly due to child hood programming I lost the ability to have excitement in my life and facing new challenges, I lost the ability to trust people; I grew up learning to fear people who were close to me.

Today by embracing spiritual values I am able to be a much healthier person and able to be as honest with other people as I am more honest with myself.

If you chose recovery it will require work if you want to become a much healthier person and will take time and patience with in our self, there are no quick fixes in recovery.   

Strength and confidence are linked to each other, by practicing healthy spiritual actions we gain confidence and strength in our self.

Our success today is very much tie to letting go of fear of the future and fear of the past, by forgiving our self and others for the pains of the past, in doing these things we can be focused on today only.

If we exchange one unhealthy obsessive habit why replace that habit with the habit of staying focused on the lack of money and filled with fear?

I was like the rat in the wheel going faster and faster and getting nowhere. Focusing on money all through my life I was losing sight of those things which were far more important values in my life having people that love me.

We justify telling lies when the truth was I could not be honest for fear of losing the people that loved me, yet even understanding my feelings did not stop me wanting to run in fear to the gambling.

Today I am not willing to give up faith or hope or faith in my actions, yes I will most likely make some big mess ups now and again but I am willing to learn from those mistakes.

Living on the edge of my nerves and living in fear is not an option today; I am willing to face head on those things that use to scare me silly in the old days.

When I married back in 1970 did I know what love commitment and responsibility was all about? I did not have a clue what so ever. Then did I really love Shirley back in those days?

How could I love my wife Shirley until I was able to love myself? Could I care for my wife Shirley until I was able to learn to care for myself?

I am more productive and more creative today than at other time in my life, I am excited at doing new things yet at one time that fear use to hinder me.

How much effort am I willing to out in to myself today? What is my worth today? Do I fully appreciate honesty and relationships today?

How grateful am I and how much do I appreciate that am I to be alive today? Fully alive and aware of things around me?

Love and peace to everyone Dave.

Just for today I WILL try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. (Not allow fear stress panic anxiety and fear based issues to cause doubt in myself or my actions.)

Just for today I WILL be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that: “most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”  (No one controls my happiness today. Happiness is for me being content within myself in who and what I am today an how I conduct my life)

Just for today I WILL adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust every thing to my own desires. I WILL take each day as it comes and fit myself to it. (Living for today only, not allowing things I have no control over to affect my healthy being, not let anxiety and stress of tomorrow to cause me to live in fear of doing recovery today)

Just for today I WILL strengthen my mind. I WILL study. I WILL learn some thing useful. I WILL not be a mental loafer. I WILL read some thing that requires effort, thought and concentration. (I will strengthen my character and I will strengthen my conscience practicing spiritual actions; recovery is about healthy progress which builds self confidence in our actions and stay focused on healthy spiritual growth and progressive actions today)

Just for today I WILL exercise my soul in three ways: I would do some body a good turn and not get found out: if any body knows of it, it will not count: I WILL do at least two things I do not want to do – just for exercise. (A good turn is giving of myself, the action is spiritual based, doing 2 things I do not want to do is often things I know I need to do but are reluctant to do)

Just for today I WILL be agreeable. I WILL look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with any thing, and not try to improve or regulate any body but myself. (Understand that I do not control anyone else but myself and my actions, accepting the serenity prayer fully in to my life and my actions)

Just for today I WILL have a program. I may not follow it exactly but I WILL have it. I WILL save myself from two pests – hurry and indecision. (Stay focused on healthy actions and my things to do list, and not rush recovery but enjoy it, I will think things out clearly, but more importantly in doing things slower I become more considerate patient and tolerant of other people and of myself)

Just for today I WILL have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half-hour some time, I WILL try to get a better perspective of my life. (Time to reflect and get clarity and focused on the healthiest path and actions I need and want in my life each day)

Just for today I WILL be unafraid. Especially I WILL not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that, as I give to the world, so the world will give to me. (In being free of fears will make me more honest, improve relationships, and set my inner child free)

Just for today I WILL not gamble. (It is the beginning of a more spiritual life and gaining a healthier way of living)