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Comments: Hi, I'm hoping to receive some insight from faithful brothers and sisters who stuggle with SSA. Maybe I can eventually help my now adult son who was raised in the Truth, but who has since left it, thinking he was alone in his struggle with SSA.
Comments: Hi All Until finding this site, I have always felt very alone in my struggle. Like us all I have my story, and I've made incredible sacrifices to stay loyal to Jehovah. He knows what I have done and the energy it takes each day to just get through this, but after reading your comments I realise many of you know as well, and my heart goes out to you all. Don't give up. B.
Comments: I was having a particularly rough period in dealing with things and while looking online trying to find any sort of help I found a lot of apostate sites and I started to feel upset in many ways. Angry at the world, sad at the way people twist others attempts to help, and worried about myself because I thought this must be the only road people with my struggles go down. This feeling was emphasized by the fact that I knew a brother who, after people started saying that there must be something wrong with him because he wasn't married yet, caved under the pressure and left to be with a man. I know that being able to discuss your feelings with people can sometimes help ease the struggle, but with a problem like this people just can't understand unless they have been there. I was angry after seeing all those other sites, but decided to try to find what I was looking for one last time and I finally found this site! Just knowing that others are trying to stay faithful despite the circumstances is a huge relief to me.
Comments: Hi not sure what to say , just that I'm hoping to get some strengh from the site and the rest of ya thats attached to it... I'm not handling things at the moment and feel a little messed up by it all. Gaz
Comments: Noel, I know how you feel, I think this site is a blessing from Jehovah, tonight, i have been searching for a site, at the end of my rope, I believe Jehovah directed me to this site, I would LOVE to get a chance to meet all the brothers and sisters who are struggling with this as well. everytime I did a web search, all I found were apostate sites which prove harmful to everyone's spirituality, I am thanking Jehovah I found this site. I know what it's like to feel as if some friends in your congregation may be judgemental, I myself had friends judging me before I even knew i was gay, this caused my faith to become shaken but Jehovah provided an elder in a different congregation who is behind me in this fight 1000% all I can say is when you're at your wits end, Jehovah provides for us all. Agape
Comments: Phil: Thanks for commenting on my post 'Advise and Consent and Sexual Orientation.' It's a skillfully written, respectful comment which advances its point well.
Comments: Noel; Welcome to the site. You should know that you have found a place where it´s possible to find encouragement as a gay witness. Those I have become friends with from this site are in good standard in the congregation. We all face difficulties with this taboo, some more than others, which is a reason of culture, not a reason of bible teaching. As Olivers says, the acts are condemned, not those persons who have these feelings and wants to stay faithful. The limited amount of literature of this topic will show you that. All humans have the need for comfort and relationship with someone who understands you, and I´m sure you´ll find that here. Again, welcome. Hope to talk to you inside this forum. Take care. SB.
Comments: Noel, First of all I want to say how glad I am that you have found this site. It is encouraging to ALL who come here! Then I want to tell you that your parents love you more than you will ever be able to imagine. They want the very very best for you.
Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a lot of information about this problem, and the few articles that are out there only seem to jump out when someone deals with this issue, whether on a first-hand basis (as you yourself are), or if there is a son, daughter or friend that deals with this. Then the articles are so very clear.
Right now your Mom and Dad are probably very scared of losing you to the world. Do your best to show them how much you love Jehovah, and in time they will support you through this. I speak as a Mom.
The last thing I want to remind you is what Oliver has already told you. Jehovah loves you. He knows what your potential is as a perfect person, and that is so very valuable to him. You can give an answer to Satan that, “Yes, I will serve Jehovah, despite the problems that you throw my way. He loves me and will sustain me!”
Comments: Hello Noel, first of all: welcome! I am sure, you found a good place for mutual encouragement. Yes, like our literature stated in different cases, we can serve our God Jehovah as valuable persons despite our sexual orientation. According our bible understanding there is a difference between having feelings for the own gender and acting on them. So to say, I would love to encourage your parents to concentrate in their personal study on this subject. In the literature page of this site you can find good articles to show them. And in ministry we are encouraged to use the Reasoning-book. If they read under the point "Homosexuality" they will get a nice lesson to learn. Maybe you can help them to get a balanced view on this subject. Not all and everywhere our brothers react like this. There are differences. But to change congregations just because of this reason, would mean, to take a possibility to learn away - for both sides.  Welcome again!
Comments: Im so grateful for running into this site. You dont know how much stronger I feel knowing there are so many other Brothers and Sisters going through the same struggle as myself. Sadly in my Kingdom Hall there isnt much support there. I think its because they have never experienced what it is like to associate with Gay witnesses before. So I made the mastake of talking to my Mother and Father who felt compelled to talk to the Elders in the Hall. I havent approched them yet but I know for a fact my parents have. None of the other Brothers like to associate with me in the Kingdom Hall, its like they're Homophobic and I feel like Im being judged. They hate to even make eye contact and I can read there rejectful body language, its like they dont want to talk to me, but an occasional hi is alright for them. I want to get Baptised this comming Assembly but I dont want to be alone. Is it wrong to not like the Kingdom Hall I attend. Futhermore my parents arn't understanding. They tell me things like I should regret my feelings. And its unnatural. Then they showed me this scripture recently which totaly changed my whole perception of them. Leviticus 20:13 ??????? Does God really hate gay people that much? I know we are forgivin of our sins through Jesus, but they totally condemned me. IDK anymore, Im just miserable and I love Jehovah and I got so much love and respect for the Truth. I just need a little support thats it.
Comments: Dear Percy, Thank you for taking the time to sign the Guestbook. I am very sorry to learn that you have evidently suffered from serious clinical depression and have at times felt suicidal. Association with our brothers and sisters in the Christian Congregation cannot provide any instant medical solution to major clinical depression, of course, but it can be a means of support to help us through it. There are things that it's good to feel proud about. We can be proud to praise the name of our God. But it is good, also, to remember the counsel of the apostle Paul to the Romans, that we should not think more of ourselves than is necessary. (Romans 12:3) Kind regards, Phil.
Comments: Dear brothers & sisters My brothers i am black gay jw in South Africa. I am very proud of myself. I am very open with my situation to avoid putting my heart to love with a poor brother. I knew the site 4 long time now but never posted. I have went through a lot as everybody else eg. Major depression, suecide attempt, etc. Now i am living the life, i came out to parents and friends. And i want to take the initiative to teach other christians what is it, how can they help? etc. Brothers we must stop pettying ourself and let jehovah use us to reavile the new beginnings about homosexuality.thing of those young witnesess who have to go through the torture. We can help them, make their parents, congrigation and elders understand. Prouldy gay(not acting on my feelings)jw.
Comments: How refreshing to read realistic comments about this very real challenge. The site appears to be as loyal to Jehovah as I want to remain. Thank you.
Comments: Hey Chris Deutsch ist nicht meine stärkste Sprache. Aber ich verstehe ein bischen mit Google-translater ebenfalls hilfreich sein. Ich lebe nicht im Deutschland, sondern gleich nebenan, in Dänemark. Schön, endlich erfüllen andere mit ähnlichen Gefühlen. Du bist nicht allein . Soren
Comments: Dear brothers and sisters. Can´t tell you how much it means to me finding this website. This is my very first posting here, and I don´t know anybody in here yet. I feel this can be a turning point in my life, and I can´t wait to get to know some of you. I can´t believe that it took me so long to find it. I´m a 34 year old man, and I have had gay feelings ever since I can remember, even as a small child. It came clear to me what theese 'strange' feelings were, when I was about 11-12 years old. Statistics say that about 10% of the worlds population is gay. Being a JW don´t excepts us from statistic, which means that there might be more than 500.000 JWs with gay feelings world wide. I have often wondered why this problem is so shameful to discuss, but I guess it´s the culture, because the bible does not find gay acts worse than other acts that we must restrain from. I live in a very liberal country in Europe, and even here no JWs can talk openly about this. I can only imagine how you are doing in other country's, where this topic is even more ta bu. May this website be a place where we can engourage oneanother to endure this difficulty, by openly share these complex feelings of being gay, and still wanting to be faitfull to Jehovah. Take care out there.  S.B.
Comments: Hello all: I am happy to have been referred to this site by a good friend of mine. Hopefully, through reading other members' comments and encouragement, it can make living in this wicked system of things a little more bearable. Thanks, Holly
Comments: I'm so happy to have found this site. Thank you for posting John's story; I have found his experience to be most endearing and encouraging. This constant struggle that we face before Jehovah is very discouraging and can be detrimental to our spiritual health. I hope that many will find encouragement with the scriptures and fellow virtual association and mature to serve Jehovah with a clean conscience.
Comments: Hi everybody, I just stumbled across the site, well, basically I just wanted to let you brothers and sisters on here know that I greatly appreciate your faith and steadfastness in dealing with what probably is the greatest challenge a Christian could possibly face. You are an inspiration! I'm a 36 yo married brother in the USA, serving as a MS in our cong.
Comments: Hallo Chris, Du sollst wissen, daß du auch hier in Deutschland längst nicht alleine deinen Kampf mit deinen Gefühlen kämpfst. Das Resumee in Erwachet 2/07 ist realistisch:. "Auch wenn manche etwas anderes behaupten: Du kannst solche Gefühlsregungen beherrschen lernen oder zumindest dem Verlangen widerstehen." Als ein Bruder, der einiges Älter ist wie du und der bis heute am "kämpfen" ist, kann ich das gerne bestätigen. Jehova hat mich mit vielen Vorrechten und schönen Erfahrungen gesegnet. Ich verstehe dich sehr gut, Chris, und wünsche dir, daß du eine reife einfühlsame Person finden magst, mit der du auch über deine Gefühle reden kannst. Das kann dir sehr helfen. Vor allem aber: Schütte auch diesbezüglich Jehova dein Herz aus! Ich schau regelmäßig hier ins guestbook und lese vielleicht mal wieder was von dir!?! Lieber Gruß Wolfgang
Comments: I would like to discuss my problem of same sex attraction, in a theocratic manner, with others on your website. My motive is to help others and to be helped as well by others who can relate to these issues. My marriage is happy and fulfilled - temptation, probably though is something I will always have to fight. I am in good standing and active in my local congregation.
Comments: Hi everyone. I'm so happy to find a website like this. I'm a brother in my 20s from the UK and have struggled with same sex feelings since I was young but have only recently accepted that I am gay. I serve as pioneer and ministerial servant but find staying in the truth a constant fight . I look forward to the day when same sex tendencies will be a thing of the past and we can live in peace and happiness in Jehovah's new world. Until then, this website will be my lifeline, as I'm sure it will be for countless others.
Comments: Hallo liebe Brüder und Schwestern, ich bin froh, diese Seite hier wieder gefunden zu haben. Ich habe mich hier früher schon mal häufiger umgesehen, habe dann aber gedacht, dass ich mich in meiner sexuellen Orientierung einfach nur getäuscht habe. Leider ist das nicht so. Mein Leben wird von Tag zu Tag härter - genau wie es wohl bei euch ist. Ich hoffe immer, dass ich weiterhin standhaft bin, aber - manchmal sind die Zweifel wirklich sehr gross. Dazu kommt noch, dass mich die gesamte Situation sehr depressiv gemacht hat. Wenn es hier jemand aus Deutschland - oder allgemein Europa gibt, der mich versteht, kann er sich gerne melden. ----- OK - I`m sorry - my english is really terrible  I`m 34 years old, living in northern germany. I'm a ministeral servant since 2005, but - I'm gay. I didn't have sex, of course, but it's really difficult - every day for me - you know it. Is anybody here from germany?
Comments: "Trying To Understand", thank you for your comments.
Comments: WOW, never saw a site like this that is ran by active witnesses. I seen others that bad mouth the witnesses and you know the story. I've just got into this site and I'm very surprized and happy to see the suport that gay witnesses need so badly. The stories are all the same, but we need to hold out till the end. May Jehovah bless all that that seek suport to stay strong!
Comments: Hi everyone. I don't know what suddenly got into me, but the past few days I have been looking around the net for sites like this one. As you might know, most "gay JW support" sites are run by or are full of apostates so I wasn't happy about being there. About 2 years ago, while I was a regular on a certain Q&A site, a young brother emailed me (and I was soooo honoured that he felt he could confide in me) and told me he had homosexual tendencies and that he was afraid to talk to his father (an elder) or to talk to any other elder because he feared they might tell his father. He then asked me what I thought of his joining a site like this one (one set up to encourage active gay JWs). I did not know how to advise him, and offered to ask some other JWs (also regulars at that site) what they thought, without revealing his ID to them and get back to him with their answers later. Everyone I asked (older brothers, elders etc) said "Don't go there, just talk to your Dad" etc. So I relayed the advice to him and he said thanks and I didn't hear from him again. I have been thinking of him, and hence started my "digging" to further understand the issues involved and all. Oh, in case you haven't figured it out already, I am straight and do not know any homosexuals in real life. I harbored (please notice the use of past tense) almost all the common prejudices against homosexuals and was shocked when I learned that even among the brotherhood are some who feel attracted to members of the same sex. Reading through the comments here and on other sites has helped me see "the other side of the fence" and while I do not understand everything, I do know now that if a brother or sister revealed to me that they were gay, I wouldn't treat them different than I did before they told me (unless of course they were acting on their feelings, that's a different matter altogether). So, I understand it must take LOADS of faith and reliance upon Jehovah, love for his standards and self-control to be gay and a faithful JW and that's encouraging to see. Sorry for writing so much.... but I have one question- and I wrote the stuff above so that you understand if I use terms or phrases that might be offensive (I apologise in advance)- but one issue the brothers raised when I was asking around on behalf of that brother was this: In offering support and encouragement to other brothers and sisters with homosexual feelings on this site and regularly associating with them via email or the forum... isn't there the risk of getting emotionally attached (in a romantic way) to them? Again, I apologise if this comes off as offensive, and if the moderator feels this is not appropriate, you don't have to post it, but could you kindly answer my question via email? I want to see the bigger picture, just in case someone asks me for advice like that young brother did 2 years ago. Agape.
Comments: Hi Everyone...so glad to find such a comforting place. You all are to be commended for your GREAT EFFORTS!!! May Jehovah Bless You ALL.
Comments: Hi there, I am glad to see that there are others looking for comfort with those who can relate 100%. I hope to maybe learn something from here that can help you decide on what to do in certain situations.
Comments: Hello everyone, I had no idea a site like this was out there, and i am so glad i found it. I had often wondered if there were other brothers and sisters with my feelings. And not just the same sex atraction, but that of being scared by the way some "hetero" brothers talk about a gay person.
What is your email address Phil@witnesses.plus.com Comments: Michael thank you for those kind words, much appreciated. I too found the old jwsupport site very helpful. The witnesses.plus.com site currently shows in second place if you do a Google search for terms such as gay Jehovah's Witnesses, and in first place if you do a UK Google search. The link is via the old name of the site. As you know, and as I hope the Rationale and FAQ pages of the site make clear, the site is not operated in any kind of rebel spirit, and the intention is support with a matter that, in many places, is still not easily discussed.
Comments: Dear Phil,
Comments: I need to love and be loved. My mind and body are so tired of this desire that i'm unable to satisfy. It feels like a daily mental torture. Sometimes I just wish I could fall asleep for a long time and wake up in the new system. There is no life without love, at least not one thats worth having. It is Jehovah's love and mercy that keeps me going. I know that he loves me and I know he doesnt want me to feel any hurt. thank you Jehovah for this site Lee
Comments: Salut Xavier, bienvenue à toi ! Nous sommes heureux et triste à chaque fois qu'un nouveau compagnon apparaît ici. Que Jéhovah, notre père aimant comme tu l'écris, nous donne la force et le courage d'accepter ce défi jusqu'au bout. Cela en vaut la peine, il faut garder cela à l'esprit et comme un leitmotiv, parvenir à demeurer fidèle à Dieu est un idéal qui surpasse toute pensée et justifie la perte de toute chose. "Il y a une grande récompense à garder les commandements de Jéhovah".
Comments: Bonjour a tous, Je suis heureux d'avoir trouvé un tel site. Moi-meme je lutte contre des pensées troublantes qui m'assaillent parfois en rapport avec l'attirance envers des personnes de meme sexe, mais je souhaite plus que tout continuer a vivre dans la pureté et ainsi garder la conscience tranquille. J'espere que ce site me donnera davantage de force pour tenir bon dans mon combat. Je souhaite bon courage a également a tous ceux qui se trouvent dans cette meme situation, attendant patiemment le moment a nos difficultés disparaitront grace a notre Pere aimant. Cordialement, Xavier.
Comments: I have struggled with SSA feelings for many years and just recently have begun doing much reading about the issue. From what I have read about one's family of origin and childhood environment, I could be the poster child for it. Just now found this site and wished I had years ago. I hope it is a source of mutual encouragement. Jay B.
Comments: Hi everyone! I'm a 27 year old brother in the USA. I love Jehovah deeply and serve as an elder and regular pioneer. I have been struggling with an attraction to the same sex since I was a pre-teen, but with Jehovah's help I am coping with my feelings. Honestly, it does sometimes hurt to think that I will likely have to remain single in this system, because I truly desire love and companionship. I am trying to widen out and make new friends, male and female, in the hopes of lessining my desire for romantic love. I am also focusing on the ministry, especially helping people by means of Bible studies. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this struggle. I want you brothers and sisters to know that I pray for all of you every day, and I hope you will pray for me, too. Your brother, "Jay"
Comments: Hello everybody! I'm glad to find this site! It gives an opportunity to talk openly about feelings and give and receive support. I'm not attracted to my own sex. But I admire brothers and sisters who serve Jehovah with their whole heart and don't give up! Greetings to all! Kate
Comments: I always wondered if there were other brothers in my situation. I talked to an elder in my congregation about my homosexual feelings, and he put me in contact with a brother who is dealing with the same "problem." Then he told me about this web site, which I have to say is like a breath of fresh air. Now I don't feel so alone in this world. I think I'll be okay.
Comments: Dear sisters and brothers, I´m very happy to now, that I´m not alone in my everyday struggle with SSA. Take care and all the best to everyone of you! Dear greetings, Andre
Comments: I'm not quite good at starting messages like this most of the time, but... I'm new to this site and would like to join. Although I'd like to stay anonymous for the moment. As I've mentioned before, I hope this site proves to be a source of encouragement for everyone who decides to visit it. There are many different kinds of struggles that all of Jehovah's servants must go through to continue serving him with a clean conscience and are able to endure with his help, and from help proved by him through other brothers and sisters. I hope this site will benefit more people who are suffering because of this transient system of things. -Your Brother in the United States
Comments: B, who recently posted twice, thanks for the information and suggestion. I surmise who you might be, and would be pleased to hear from you.
Comments: Please note that posts to this Guestbook will not be accepted unless a accompanied by a valid email address. Email addresses are only visible to me, not to anyone else.
Comments: I'm a brother from a the states. Nice to have this wonderful site where we can offer encouragement and upbuild one another. . .Especially as the end draws near we don't need to be losing anymore of our dear brothers and sisters. .Look forward to interacting with you guys. Ciao
Comments: Hi Eric and welcome isn't what you say exactly what is mentionned in 1 Co 10:13 "no temptation has taken you except what is common to men". There was a time when I also wondered how this "thorn" could possibly be shared by others, and questionned about this verse applying to every kind of situation. Now we know this is true : no human being is faced to any trial that is specific and exceptional. At least there are a few other ones sharing the same difficulty, and it's good to know that and realize, as a consequence, that we are not totally left alone in a new and unique trial. This problem is an old problem, and, most probably, many other people have had to resist this attraction while endevouring to do God's will. That being said, it really is a challenge for brave ones. You can be one of them !
Comments: Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself and say how happy I am to see that what we are told repeatedly is true, namely: we are not alone in our struggles.
Comments: I found this website just a few days ago and this is my first post. I was very encouraged by what I have read. I pioneered for years, worked hard as an elder, and kept busy doing all the right things. I married and had children and worked very hard for my family. Only later and in the last 10 years did my struggle with SSA become so intense that I eventually, about two years ago, began praying, reading voluminously, and seeking help. Nine months ago I began reparatve therapy in earnest and have found much help and relief. In addition, I have done other kinds of therapy, including working with a witness psychotherapist who is an elder. I am excited and optimistic. I've had some very exciting experiences. Of course, time will tell what results I can ultimately achieve. Thank you, everyone, for sharing and giving us the opportunity to learn from one another. J
Comments: Anonymous, I wonder if you are confusing the GUESTBOOK of the witnesses.plus.com website, with the FORUM of the site? (Please see the homepage http://www.witnesses.plus.com/index.html ). Of course the witnesses.plus.com website itself, like any site on the worldwide web, can be googled. You may even have noted that for some considerable time, this site showed in first place on Google with a search for terms such as "gay Jehovah's Witnesses". The whole of this Guestbook part of the witnesses.plus.com site, and the four Guestbooks that preceded this current one, are visible to anyone with internet access. The pen-names of those who write to the Guestbook are visible along with their comments. However, email addresses are NOT visible (except mine). I'm not sure what you mean by "the moderator". It should be noted that the FORUM part of the witneses.plus.com website is password-protected and cannot be accessed via any search engine. As an added security measure, email addresses are not shown there either.
Comments: does everyone know that this site can be googled and shows up in a search with all comments and names showing?? to the moderator, please delete any of my posts ASAP. Thanks!
Comments: Hello Maru, Welcome at this place. You will find a lot of encouraging words here. It helped me quite a lot to know that I am not the only one dealing with ssa. I understand your feelings not to fit the standards of being a Jehovah Witness. And about the feeling to commit suicide: I also understand that, but it's not that you don't want to live, but you don't like the situation you're in now. (job 14:13). You'll find a lot of friends here who can help you to find the strenght to go on... Your brother from the Netherlands, M.
Comments: I'm so glad I stumbbled upon this site, i am a 20 y/o son of a PO and in constant state of worry because I feel like I don't fit the standards of being Jehovah's witness. Sometimes I get so depressed because of this that I honestly considered suicide. Anyway just to know that I am not alone in this situation is solace enough, i really can't believe this, comments I read are true and encouraging. I always pray to Jehovah I get over with this feelings but doing it on my own is dangerous enough, I hope older experienced bros/sis can guide me thru this. Greetings
Comments: Bonjour. Merci pour votre accueil. J'ai en effet remarquer qu'il y avait un forum en français, mais je n'ai pas encore tout lu !! En tout cas, c très intéressant. Je laisserai l'un ou l'autre commentaire à l'occasion. Encore merci à tous pour vos encouragements surtout à Phil de continuer à gérer ce site. A bientôt. |
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