Whether you're a wife, an ex-wife, a girlfriend or fiance, chances are more than likely that you're either dealing with or have dealt with some guy's crap.
Here, you can vent, vent, VENT - anonymously, be it a minor annoyance or a COLOSSAL no-no.
Feel like SCREAMING? You've come to the right place!
A little bit of revenge with no repercussions - how nice!
No bashing each other please, it's really the one thing I ask - sometimes us women need to stick together
Your "name" can be your own or any alias you wish to use.
Email addresses are NOT required to post here in the "confessional"
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2,950 Entries
Today
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Yeah, spouse...you suck on holidays too. I made the effort, did you? Nope. "husband" is too good a word for you. I can hardly call you anything related to me. Spouse is all I can stand.
11/25/09
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flip the coin. today is happy day. hes in a great mood today...why you ask? Well he feels great...because...drum roll please........he confessed that he has been back watching internet porn and on escort sites (just to look of course). "Whew" he said, "that feels so much better, now i dont have that on my mind. Sorry baby i was so nasty yesterday. I just felt bad about what i had done" ??? I was like "what?", ok now he feels better by confessing but i feel like a complete idiot. Oh well, time to partipate in an "i'm sorry" shopping trip that hes taking me on. I guess i'll stay just for one more day at least  oh did i mention that my borderline personality disorder matches perfectly with his narcissism. I can't leave because i don't know if i'll ever be able to fine someone as narcissistic as him...ahhh to be in love
11/25/09
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I'm glad.....GLAD I kicked his hairy ass OUT!!! 
My divorce was final in June of '08
11/25/09
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listen to the forsaken wife she is not saying anything that is not the truth
11/24/09
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Bella - run now. Run fast. What happens if/when you get pregnant? Imagine those insults. Then say you have a little girl. Guess what she grows up believing about her self worth. Or perhaps a little boy. What kind of man will he become with that for a father's example?
Trust me, and all of us who post here. RUN NOW! Run before you're stuck. Run before you're any older. Run before you come to believe you cannot.
None of us are glad we stayed.
11/24/09
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I've only been married for a year and a half and I can already tell that this is going to end in divorce or with me being miserable for the rest of my life. My husband is a jerk. He always comments on how fat I am and how I eat like a cow. I'm 5 feet 7 and weigh 160. I'm not super thin but I'm NOT fat. He told me today that I gross him out when I'm fat and that he has the right to treat me like crap when I eat a lot. He said that if he knew now that I would never lose the weight and that I would stay "fat" forever that he would divorce me. What an asshole. I feel like I have to ask his permission to eat. I don't know if I should just divorce him now or wait till it gets worse. It's going to happen sooner or later but I don't know if I can handle the embarrassment of a divorce or losing his family who I love dearly.
11/24/09
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Ha Ha I feel so much better.Ya know it is so funny I can be so enraged for all of you!But for some reason I just can't seem to tell mine off! In October it has been 15 years.I am almost 35 (I gave him all the good ones huh)? lol we have four children together. They are our children my responsibility though.One of which that has Autism. We have really great kids!!13,11,9 and 11 months.Everybody else has great kids but not him no no. He has put no effort in! But let a teacher come up & say they just had to meet the person that made such a great child. I tell him this you know what he says yes yes & the father is never mentioned? Hello why would he be? He is a truck driver whom comes home on the weekends. Yes he could be home more like his co workers but I drop him off on Sunday & pick him up on Friday or Saturday. Even when he is not at work he still doesn't participate. In family activities. He hardly talks to children.Unless he is reprimanding them or telling them all the things they do wrong. Above & beyond all the nice & wonderful things he says to me. Like I went to work after being a stay at home mom for a long time. We needed the money. I mention how I meet alot of people there I really liked. He said to me They just like you because they don't really know you. Wow!!! What a horrible thing to say to another human being! Oh wait here is a wonderful story of us. Do you know how he proposed to me? Just tell me the day before & I'll be there? & I did it? How stupid is that? I ust to think we were best Friends turns out I am sleeping with the enemy!Yet I keep getting caught up in the Jedi mind trick???wtf lol Why do I only have moments of lucidity? How is it we have conversation when I am mad as hell at him & I walk away apologizing??Why? Even when he is home we watch him play video game or watch him sleep. I had to demand he sit down with his family & eat dinner instead of me bringing it to him where ever he was. Logically I know that I can not go on this way. It has been way to long already. Enough is enough. Love should not feel like this! I know this Why can't I just stop I am sick & I want off the roller coaster!
11/23/09
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He's back. 2 days and right back to being an ass. Wants me to beg for grocery money. Fuck you. I'd rather go without than ask you for anything. You are such a cheap gross old man.
11/23/09
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My husband acts like a total five year old most of time!
He says that everything is my fault.
He never says thank you for cleaning, or cooking, or doing all the other things I do.
No, all he does is bitch about how he says that I "never" do this or that and how I want everything my way. All ladies know that it is his way or he is upset.
Oh and did I mention the 6 or 7 beers/mixed drinks etc. he consumes every night. And he says he's not an alcoholic!
Whatever! He freakin annoys the shit out of me MOST of the time. - Peace
11/23/09
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since our first date (to church) i made it very clear to my husband that growing in God is my life. 6 years into our marriage he tells me i talk about God too much. He also met me while i was teaching...now he doesnt like that im a teacher.
Ok lemme paint the picture our our day
Me Him
7:00 leave for work 7:00 asleep
8:00 arrive at job 8:00 call complaining why
i didnt call him on way in
8-3 teach 8-3 fart, burp, make
a mess pick nose surf web
3:00 leave for home 3:00 call and complain
5:00 arrive home 5:00 ask for dinner
5-9 dinner/kids/clean 5-9 eat/pick fights
9:00 pray 9:00 storm out
he is a sad sad man. I pray he sees what he has.
11/23/09
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I've been married for 6 years and I don't know if I want to stay married to my husband. We used to be so close we were envyed by friends and family.When we got married other couples we know went and did the same to be like us.
Somewhere along the line it all went to shit. He's the store manager where he works and about 3 weeks ago I found messages on his phone from one of his female employees talking about his penis and asking when he gets off work. He says he didn't pay attention to them and didn't even read them. Apparently I have dumbass written on my forhead. Then I found naked pics of a girl masturbating and of course he forgot the pics were even on his phone.
We have 4 kids and our car broke down so I didn't have a way to get to the store. I hadn't been in a while so there wasn't anything for my children to eat.It was about 10pm and I had to walk to the store by myself while he sat on his lazy ass on the living room couch. He was in the same spot when I got back 2 hours later. Sex is a joke so I don't waste my time with that anymore. I could walk around naked which I have and I don't get a second glance.Occasionally he'll say "I see your boobies" like he's a 4 year old. Now my 2 year old son says it everytime I take my shirt off. There's so much more but why waste anymore time on anything dealing with him?
11/21/09
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I have supported us since practically the day we got married.
I lost both of my parents in the last two years. My parents gave him 20G's to start a business before they died and he did not even cry at either of their funerals or even when we were alone and I was crying about them.
He's been wanting a divorce because I have not been a good enough wife over these last two years because I have been dealing with not only the death of my parents but trying to settle their estate.
At first I was really subservient and begging for another chance. Now I actually want his ass gone from my house that I pay for. I despise his pathetic constant immaturity. I do not want to have sex with a guy who acts like he's 12. Effing creepy. They aren't "boobies" they are my breasts you ass.
So sick of taking care of him while ignoring myself. I am done.
11/20/09
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Ok. I seriously don't even know what to do anymore. No sex. I wish he would cheat on me just so I would know he's not gay or something. I miss sex so much. I mean real sex- not that 5 minute, ugly-faced, twist-the-nipple-and-go crap he THINKS is sex. No amount of talking will fix this. I really do want to cheat on him. He'll never even know-he doesn't pay attention. It's not that he trusts me-its that he doesn't care enough to notice. Hell, I bet he'd be glad that someone took over that repsonsiblity for him. The fatass is always looking for ways to get out of exercise. The sad thing is that what I'm really afriad of is that no man will have me. I'm only 23 and I feel like I've lost every bit of femininity I ever had. I wonder if there are guys out there that would even be attracted to me. I hate how he makes me feel this way.
11/20/09
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where do i start,well first off i=my husband is in the army andnit turned him into a total seflish dick. first he leaves me alone for a year wbhile he goes to south korea and aand leaves me to raise our 5 month old dsugheter by myself for a whole year and then wastes alot of money that i need for necessities,then when i would try to go out and enjoy myself with some girlfriends while he was gone he would call me nonstop so i would be forced to stay home,and was always accusing me of cheating when i didnt.and now hes back and we live together in texas,and all he does is lay around on the couch,eat,sleep,go to work and gain weight,he wont even take me to burger king for a simple fuckin hamburger,he wont let me go near his work cuz he says all his friends like me and wanna fuck me,he does his best to keep me out of public,and he doesnt help with our 18 month old daughter and all he does is yell at her and be mean to her for doin the stuff that most toddlers do,he has no right cuz he didnt raise her like i did and he doesnt know her as well as i do.he wont even cleanup after her and leaves me to do all the cleaning,cooking,shopping and taking care off the kid. and he always puts work first,he even volunteers for extra duty so he doesnt hbave to be with us,he even purposely took gaurd today so we couldnt go to my grandmas funeral in oregon tomorrow even though i havent seen her in a long time,and he ignores me whben im talking to him and hes gonna force me to have to have an affair so i can get the attention and love and thrill that i need.he even treats strangers better than me and he wont let me drive him to work,instead hell get a friend to go out of his way to pick him up.i cant even get a job cuz he wont take care of the baby or the house when im gone and he hides my car key too. lets put nit this way,if i didnt need this emotionally abusive assholes money i wouldnt fuckin be with him
11/19/09
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He is still gone. I am starting to get used to myself again. I like it. Now I am worried what will happen if/when he comes back.
Rearranging my house, my head, my life. It seems so nice not to have a knot in my stomach when returning home from a day at work.
11/18/09
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I hate that fucking asshole. After reading all these comments I truly feel that most of us have been married to the same selfish, abusive, inconsiderate, fucking egotistical pig. I can't take it anymore. I feel as if i'll snap at any second. Yet I can't make myself leave, what the fuck am I still waiting for, can somebody please tell me.
11/18/09
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After fighting with my husband, I always come to this website. Last night I saw the idea about cleaning the toliet with your husbands' toothbrush.
After another argument, about the same things we argued about last night (even though he apologized and swore he'd do things differnetly... of course), I thought i'd try cleaning the toliets... but I couldn't bring myself to do it. All the inconsiderate shit he does to me, all the hateful things he says, the constant emotional rollercoaster he has me riding... and I can't bring myself to do this to him.
I've done vengeful things to him in the past, and in the end, I think I hurt myself more than I hurt him.
How terrible it is when you begin to realize that the person you are trying to spend your life really just doesn't care... at all.
And no amount of reasoning or pleading will make him.
11/14/09
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So, let's review the last five years of my wonderful life. Got breast cancer, went through treatment, was diagnosed with depression, watched my mother slowly die of Alzheimer's. then watched my dad's downward spiral into dementia. Buried my beloved mom October 5 and then had to put my dad in a nursing hone two weeks later. Mr. Wonderful got laid off and was out of work for a year, then got a good-paying job he lost because he flunked a random drug test. Got another job for a whopping $10 an hour and has continued to drink all the while. And our impending bankruptcy is all my fault because I spend too much money. Those Wal-Mart jeans really set us back! But he says I'm the one who needs psychiatric help because I'm angry and 'out of control.' I'm trying my best to keep it all together and raise the most wonderful 13 year-old daughter in the world, but I'm so tired of all the crap. I feel so all alone. I can't burden my daughter with all my problems and my friends don't understand.
11/14/09
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Gone again. Freaked out for no reason. Made up a phone call. Followed me around. I was just where I said I was doing just what I said I was doing. What an asshole! There's nothing to find. I have been working 2 jobs; only have time to work, eat, sleep.
11/11/09
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Forsaken Wife: Yes, they do.
Ex: I have an idea for this site--if you would offer the opening screen shot of my husband sucks as wallpaper I would buy one. Maybe others would too, and you could pay for some of the site costs with it.
Sometimes I open that in another tab and leave it on my screen when I step away from my laptop. The deep sigh of disgust lets me know when he is being NOSY and spying into what I do!
Reminds me of that line in Titanic where the soon to be hubby says "I'll have to start minding what she reads, won't I?"
11/10/09
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Janis - because they suck the life out of everyone around them. I know the asshole I live with does.
11/09/09
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Why do the real assholes live such long lives?
11/09/09
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tdimogugno-
I feel for you. I found this site while recovering from major surgery.
My husband was very stoic/judgmental about my pain. He got "tired" of my recovery after a few days. I was accused of "milking it".
He was suddenly an expert about my procedure, and how
I "should" be feeling.
I find that most guys get irritated with having to deal with someone else's feelings most of all.
Not to mention the many little things that their partner may need assistance with, things we all take for granted being able to do ourselves. (Or that the wife usually does).
You do need time to process all that you have been through, all that you need.
I also had a scare with breast lumps a couple of years ago. It does move very fast, and that is very scary.
Even at a "hurry up and wait" HMO.
I had a hysterectomy, surgery that also affected how I felt as a woman.
I was lucky to have friends, co-workers and my cool mom to talk to about some of my doubts and fears. It turned out that I was in good company.
I have talked in here before about how my dad, and my ex would get angry when mom/I was injured or ill.
It meant extra work for them.
I remember being made to feel angry, hurt and disappointed, and that I was worthless and weak.
Exhausting. I am very sorry you having to deal with all that crap while recovering from major surgery, intense treatments, and the not knowing..
You deserve so much better.
Some men are just not up to the task, it seems.
I remember finally just apologizing. Yeah. Gee, hon, I know this has not been easy for you...
(I did not dream this up so that I had an excuse to lay on my ass)
And, I am adjusting to major changes with my body and self-image. It will not happen overnight. It will be easier for me if I just had a little support and understanding from you. I need that most of all.
(A little help, please)
Anything to have a bit of peace.
It sounds like you are a very brave and hip lady. Your husband is lucky to have such a strong partner.
11/09/09
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Well, he came back. I am not glad. He even went so far as to admit he is only home because he has no where else to go. Wonder why not. His family stays clear of him unless it's a funeral or whatever. He has no friends that he ever talks to or does anything with. Passive agressive behaviors are escalating. Now he is lying to me. Said he was having breakfast in a nearby town, then showed up 5 minutes later. LIAR!
I told him I hoped he had a good time fucking her, since I won't be sleeping with him anymore. EVER.
11/09/09
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So we just got married in June, and like most of the jerks I read about here, my dumbass husband changed. He is only interested in doing what he likes to do (fishing, drinking, and smoking). When we go out to eat...he wants me to eat my food in our car. God forbid he does something nice/romantic for me. I'm sick of him, and I hate him with so much passion. Too angry to write the details right now, but I will! This site made me feel better knowing there are more women who feel the same way
11/08/09
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tdimodugno - sounds like a grade "a" asshole to me. You've had to face your mortality. You've had to find the inner strength to beat not only the cancer, but the treatment, too. And you have. You deserve and have the right to mourn the changes, to be angry, sad, and anything else you care to feel. You have the right to support, to love, and to compassion. You have the right to have it take as long as it takes. I know a woman who went through her breast cancer with a jerk of a husband who said it was no big deal and gave her no support. I had a breast cancer scare last year and didn't get an ounce of support from my husband, either. Now imagine what big babies these same men would be if they found a lump on their testicle or somewhere else they value so much. It'd be the end of the world for them. So you take as long as you need and do it however you need to. And remember - you survived! You kick butt and you did it. I admire you for that.
11/07/09
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My husband has no idea and doesn't really want to know how stage 4 breast cancer has affected me. After chemo for 8 months, a double mastectomy, radiation...he feels I should be feeling great and be "over it". Honestly, it all happened so fast, I haven't even had the time to process it...but he feels it is not a big deal...I really thought it would be fine - not a hand or a foot I was losing, but this has really blind sided me. I don't care for his simple "reccomendations" on how to move forward, yet I don't know how to do that myself. Is he being too cavelier about my situation and not "getting" it from my point of view? Or am I begin a jerk and not "getting" the happiness I should be feeling in having dealt with this swiftly and timely...? Any help, advise would be appreciated...
11/07/09
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To Theexwife...thank you for your site.
To Theforsakenwife...beautiful writing
To cfgroovy...thank you for reminding me to appreciate my friendships.
Now, my husband has put his whore's family in a house 10 miles away from my front door.
He wants to live Big LOVE and I don't. He is making the decision to leave so much more easier!
But of course he tells me I am beautiful, that he is not leaving me and wants to continue sharing life with me. Dumb Ass your already did leave our marriage get a clue. I guess him screwing the other chick didn't bother me as much as the stupid sayings the following week. 
11/06/09
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Cleaning the toilet with my husband's tooth brush sounds great, first I'll brush the dog's teeth with it though... he still hasn't come home. 5days 4nights. I told him I want a divorce today. I WANT TO FUCKING RIP HIS GOSH DAMN NO GOOD BALLS OFF I HOPE HE GETS CLAP!!
11/05/09
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I cleaned the toilet with my husband's tooth brush today. Although, after browsing some of the other posts, I see another woman had a better idea for his toothbrush!!
When I told my doctor I wanted a STD screening, she was shocked, "why, I thought you were married" Yeah, I know maybe you could remind my Prince Charming of that fact!
11/05/09
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All of your posts made me want to cry. I thought I was the only one in the world that totally hates my husband. We got married not even two months ago. It was like as soon as we got married he turned into a major douche bag.
This is the story... we met on line, I moved in with him, I left everything two hours away. I lost my daughter to her father because I couldn't afford a lawyer in court, my husband was not there for me emotionally at all, he was a bad father to his own son. Then, I broke up with him, forgot about all the shit he did to me in the past and got back with him after all of his begging and pleading with me to give him a second chance. He said he was a changed man and now he sees the light and all that crap that makes me want to puke now!! Then, he asks me to marry him, me, being naive I suppose said yes, even encouraged it, God, what was I thinking?
Now, he goes to his home town all the time and spend days there. I have no idea who he's with or what he's doing and he doesn't even call to say good night. When he is here it is like he isn't anyways. He sits on his computer all day long. He makes me feel invisible, and when I don't feel invisible I feel ugly because he won't have sex with me. He is lazy and won't go find a job even though our bills are falling behind and I am suffering through court again to get my daughter back.
Last year, after I had lost my daughter to her father (who is abusive to her both physically and mentally and so is his psycho girlfriend) I had a mental break down and tried to commit suicide. I felt there was no way out... I wouldn't have gotten that bad had my husband not left to go play poker with his friends and I'd be dead had my mother not come to my house, knowing something was wrong with me... anyways, I got that depressed again and he did the same thing. He left me alone while I was crying and suffering so much. I didn't try to commit suicide because being in the hospital the last time taught me that there is so much to look forward to, but I sat alone and cried all night long, and all day the next day. He stayed gone for one night and 2 days. He has watched me cry myself to sleep on various occasions and just rolls over and doesn't care. He knows I'm unhappy and I need his attention, that I feel unloved but he says that he pays the electric, insurance and Internet with his unemployment (like he worked so hard for that money) so that's good enough.
I never feel special, I never feel loved, I think he's cheating on me, he's been gone for 3 days and I don't even know where he is... god, what an idiot I was for believing his lies... That's another thing; he lies about EVERYTHING!! I catch his in lies all the time! I want a divorce but I'm afraid it will hurt me in court that I got married and divorced so quickly and they will not give me my daughter back. I hate him so much because of the pain I feel everyday, thanks to him. I'm so unhappy... he's so dead inside. He doesn't talk to me at all. I try to talk to him, tell him how I feel and even how to fix our relationship but he doesn't listen. He's happier drinking, smoking pot all day and playing poker with his friends and doing whatever else it is he does when he leaves me for days at a time... I'm sorry, I'm going on and on.
Point being, I feel all of you and I'm so sorry this happened to all of you. What's funny is I was just screwing around and put myhusbandsucks.com in the search bar and there's an actual site!! Goes to show that men suck!! I don't believe in love anymore.
11/05/09
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Dear Forsaken Wife,
Your letter really moved me because I am right there with you. My DH is a shit, but I stay with him because of all the reasons you stated. The money, the house, the insurance...
It seems like a cop out to stay with a man who treats you like crap, but I am still here, eleven years later.
You know that you have to love yourself first, right? I know that this is sometimes hard to do. I suffer from depression, even though I am medicated. I have my own bedroom (my choice, not his) and I do sometimes at night pretend that my ideal lover is with me and loving me the way I want to be loved. Problem is, ideal just doesn't seem to exist. Through the years I have not met one man that I would want to live with. Maybe I am jaded. The years I have spent with DH have left me not knowing what normal is anymore.
I get my love from my friends and my kids. It's not how I ever imagined my life would be, but it is what it is. I want to live my own life and do things that will make my life and the lives of my children better. But I keep backsliding. My best friend died almost a year ago and I miss her so very much. She was my anchor. She made me laugh and reminded me what a great person I am.
So we, as women and fellow sufferers have to remind each other how very special we are and that we are deserving of love and appreciation. I try to say to myself "If my best friend were here now, what would she say to me? Would she make me a cup of coffee and help me do laundry?" and then I try to be my own best friend.
Try not to despair! Happiness really is a choice you can make. I have to remind myself of that all of the time. Treat yourself by performing a random act of kindness. Go for a walk. Join the gym. Whatever makes you feel good.
And know that you are not alone! (((hugs)))
11/04/09
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I just had to vent for a moment. I work at home and hubby doesn't work - he just plays. So all day long he is here and making me crazy. Today I was on a call with a customer and the jerk was in the other room pounding on the desk and the keyboard with his fist. Customer was not amused - I had to make up a lie about someone in the next cube having a bad day. Apparently he was not having any success loading a web page or running something on his computer so he figured that pounding on everything and yelling at the computer would help. Now he is just slamming doors and yelling and kicking at the dog and everything else - and throwing things like a feaking child. Apparently he broke his keyboard - so yet another expense because of his temper.
Every time I come out of my office to get tea or go to the bathroom he starts bitching and yelling at me too. I really wish this man child would go the hell away and leave me alone. Better to be alone than this.
11/04/09
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OW. I am in so much pain. This sucks. It's winter here, and my transmission is about to go out. Even your timing SUCKS.
11/02/09
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Left my husband 4 mths ago because of his constant angry outbursts, putting me down, putting work and everything else before myself and our daughter. I moved out with my daughter. He has helped some financially and we did have contact. In early Sept we started "dating" and trying to see where it would go. We had long conversations about what our problems were and really trying to understand each other. We had fun, lots of fun. We were intimate like never before. I was falling in love with him all over. I let him know I wanted to get back together. He is pig headed and said I left him and he was not sure he wanted to get back with me. Meanwhile he tells me Im beautiful, smart, funny and perfect. This weekend, I looked at his cell (had a funny feeling) and found lots of womens names in his contacts. There were text messages from women that obviously "knew him". Then I looked at the pics and videos. My god, it was my husband (we are not even legally separated) doing sexual acts with the sluttiest looking woman I have ever seen. you could have poked my eyes out that would have hurt less. So all this time he has been seeing god knows how many other women and having sex with them. There were pics of other women too. I asked him several times if he was with other women, cause I knew he had been when we first separated. he looked me in the face and lied several times. He is immature, manipulative, self centered, leads a double (or triple, who the hell knows) life and is now a man-whore. I deserve better than this. I was faithful to him for 15 years. But you know what, Im down to a size 2 (STRESS), work out like crazy, dress sexier and have not looked this hot in a long time and he knows it. So he can have his twisted life. Im going to move on and do great things and meet men, quality men, mature men that will treat me like the lady I am. SCREW MY #%$!!$* HUSBAND!!!!!
11/01/09
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10 times a day that I hate you.
9 times you threatened divorce.
8 times you talked shit about my kids.
7 years of my sentence gone.
6 attempts to take back gifts that were given.
5 strandings without a ride.
4 inches.
3 words that don't mean anything anymore.
2 kids with jobs.
1 piece of shit gone.
0 times I have to endure you again.
10/31/09
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Piece of shit left again. Staying at a motel. Alone. Yeah, right. I am so dumb I will believe anything. I can't go on like this. I'd rather be broke, dead, anything but stuck with you. YOU SUCK.
10/31/09
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ya,im exactly like you ....maybe we are all the same.just like they are all the same.
10/31/09
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When your marriage goes bad, it destroys all the good around you. It ages you, it turns your hair gray. It makes you so angry inside while at the same time so terribly sad. It makes you act like a person you never would recognize as yourself. It puts wrinkles on your face, and sometimes pounds on your body as you seek the only comfort you can find in your solitary existence.
You find yourself with no friends, no love, no one to turn to when your times are at their worst. Nobody comforts you. Nobody tells you you are wonderful. Nobody finds you beautiful. You're just alone and in pain. Maybe chronic illness has robbed you of what you need to survive on your own. Yet it also makes you so sick all the time because of the stress and that nobody takes care of you, not even yourself.
Time and time again you've tried. You've tried to reach him. You've forsaken yourself believing that you can make a difference in how this person treats you. You've played the role of mommy, boss, accountant, sex slave, confidant, therapist, self-esteem booster, cheerleader, martyr.
And all you've been left with is someone who would never dream of being even one of those things to you. Someone who demands and takes and never gives. Or if they do, it always turns out to be just a manipulation to get what they want.
You go on, day after day. For the kids. For the money. For the medical insurance. Because you don't know what else to do. Because you know how hard it is raising kids on your own. Because you don't ever want to find yourself so broke you cry because you can't feed your family. Because you know you can never be a good enough employee and a good enough mom at the same time. Both suffer and those around you make it clear that it sucks.
You lay in bed alone at night and escape by thinking of how your life could be. Or maybe imagine the kind things a lover would say to you. Or you repeat to yourself over and over that you really do deserve better. Or maybe you beat yourself up mentally over all the stupid mistakes and stupid ideas of love you had that led you here.
You wake up in the morning exhausted, stressed, and knowing it's one more day of the same. You wonder how he'll catch you off guard today with some nasty comment that brings tears to your eyes. You wonder why you are so stupid that you always seem to get caught off guard at them. You feel like you should know they're coming.
You try to raise your children and show them all the love their father is incapable of showing. You wonder if you are ruining them. You wonder if your example of marriage will ruin them finding someone who loves them. You wonder if you are teaching them that pain and loneliness are just a natural part of marriage.
You wonder if you left how they would be. You wonder how they would cope with feeling abandoned by their father. You wonder how they would feel being hungry at night. You wonder how they would feel living somewhere unsafe because it is all you can afford. You wonder if they miss that big yard, that big house, maybe their ponies and chickens and dogs and cats. And their friends.
You look in the mirror and you see you're older now. You doubt anybody would want you. You're sure nobody would love you. You don't feel like you even know how to love anyone anymore. Your idea of marriage is jaded and you cannot imagine someone you could ever trust. You feel like those were a stupid little girl's dreams.
Every day you feel like you are stuck in a cage. Or maybe like the walls are closing in on you. Maybe being drunk or stoned once in awhile gives you a moment from that reality. Maybe the occasional time with friends makes you painfully aware that your life at home should not be as it is. Maybe you see happy people loving each other and it makes you cry.
Maybe you're like me.
10/30/09
Comments:
ive been married for less than a year. My husband has turned into a selfish bastard. He's not interested in anything other than what he wants to do. Can't remember the last decent conversation i had with him, can't get through to him how much of a jerk he his being. Still thinks he has the right to grope me in the middle of the night.. Arsehole
10/28/09
Comments:
On a different note... I'm typing this in my office as the asshole is out in the living room blabbing to some guy he met walking down the street with his dog and drug into the house to continue talking about himself and his crap. It is freaking SNOWING outside, I have laundry on the living room chair that I have been trying to fold all day when I take a break from my job and the asshole can't be bothered to help. Instead he brings the guy into the house and there it is... my underwear lying out for him to enjoy. Is it just me? Or is this just beyond belief? The sumbitch won't help fold clothes or do laundry so I have to try and sneak it in when I grab some tea during the day. Then he bitches that the house is a mess and that there are dishes... but won't help. Now he thinks it is cool to put it on parade in front of anyone he drags off the street.
I want to scream!
10/28/09
Comments:
If you own the house and it is in your name you have a leg up.
Get the papers and file for divorce and have him served at the house at the same time he is also served with a court order to have him stay away from you because you fear for your life. I'm told that most judges are more than happy to do this if the property is in your name and not shared in title.
Kick the bum out
10/28/09
Comments:
Ladies.....this is why I keep this site going.....I make no $$ from it, not a dime, in fact, I PAY for it. I don't need to vent anymore but I keep it for all of you. I'm glad you all keep finding us and that we can be of some help to each other....that's why I started it & that's why it remains. Love you all.....hope you have the strength to do what's best for you & your kids.
XXXOOO
the broke but HAPPY ex-wife!!
10/26/09
Comments:
Well, he still sucks. Not interested in anything but TV.
Wearing out my fingers, going without. I've had one time of real kissing in years. Yep, I can tell the difference. Next time go blow yourself.
10/26/09
Comments:
I want all you women who visit here to know that we are all sisters.Thanks for your many kind words and for letting me vent!you are all truely my best friends.
10/26/09
Comments:
Im going to suggest the same thing to you that im going to do...GET OUT!he sounds like a cheater.in my experiences if a man accuses you, he is cheating himself.Almost every man i have ever met has been a piece of shit.
10/26/09
Comments:
Nell,
Been there---
All the things he is accusing you of, he is probably
guilty of himself.
I feel for you and your son.
10/25/09
Comments:
I can't not stand it much longer. I put up with very abusive questioning everyday. My car odometer and phone is checked everyday. All I do is go to work and come home. He seems to think I have the desire and time to have multiple affairs. He took my wedding ring away and all my jewelry because he found grass stuck in the door of my car - ya I don't get it either. I had a 4 hour meeting at work and had to put up with 5 hours of how much that is a lie and no one has 4 hour meetings. Today I found out he took out half my paycheck, now my city bill check is going to bounce.
I've got to figure out a way to get out of here safely with our 6 year old. He has stolen all our i.d. thinking I would leave him. It totally sucks because I own the house - but I have to leave to get away.
He is totally crazy and whatever happens will not be easy. He believes all his lies and has half the town believing him too. True love, I hate him!
10/25/09
Comments:
Im sick to death of begging for sex all the time....I found him beating off this morning and all he could do is laugh.he didnt even have the courtesy to look embarassed....or to stop.Im sexually frustrated all the time .it really makes me evaluate our relationship....I really cant stand to look at him.
10/24/09
Comments:
((((( Avi ))))) I have missed you.
I remember when a friend of ours lost their grown DAUGHTER.
He himself said "its been a year". So ?
If looks could kill, he would be a big grease spot with
a few hairs floating in it.
I know you are a big comfort to your mom.
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