Which city and country are you writing from? Gulf Shores Al Comments: It is true that we live by our choices...we are who we are and where we are in life by the decisions we have made..and will be where we are and who we are in the next five years..by Choices! We can change our life by better choices..if we desire to. It is the most important thing that could happen to us..if we want to achieve our goals and have our dreams realized.
Which city and country are you writing from? Australia Comments: Choices is what life is all about, very good Minute.
Which city and country are you writing from? Centurion, South Africa Comments: Re "The choice is yours - always!" - this is just so true. One makes choices and one has to live with it - no one else to blame, no matter how much you'd like to do it! You can only take responsibility for your own decisions and not for anyone else's.
Which city and country are you writing from? Detroit, USA Comments: Saying 'no' is not always easy. But I have learned that is a complete sentence.
Which city and country are you writing from? Nyeri Kenya Comments: At times we should learn to say no. Saying yes to most of my friends has really cost me a lot of resources. I have made a resolution to way my yes and no.
Which city and country are you writing from? Bagalore , India Comments:
...Getting Angry with a person is akin to
burning one's own hut to kill a Rat !....
...Thank You Bruno for your insights on ANGER !
Which city and country are you writing from? usa Comments: how do you know the difference in being taken advantage of and real need for help??
Which city and country are you writing from? Montcuq France Comments: It was saying "NO" for the first time in my life that changed my life. You are in the equation that says you should care for everyone. Thanks Bruno
Which city and country are you writing from? Randolph, USA Comments: Bruno, this is so true. How often do we mean no, and say yes and then only to do the favor with regret and with anxiety. Then, if you need a favor, you would rather not ask because you feel you offend the other person
Which city and country are you writing from? Brenham, TX- USA Comments: It is "Nice to be Nice", but as you so appropriately put it, it can be inconvenient. I normally don't make comments on things, mostly I read and absorb, but on this subject I would like to. I recently became divorced and this was one of the reasons why our marriage failed. My ex had this very problem. She felt like she had to say "Yes" practically to everyone, her boss, her friends (if you can call them that), even her own family, simply because she didn't want anyone to be upset with her. All the time she was thinking to herself that she didn't want to do, or have the time to do the things that they were wanting her to do. We were together for ten years and after the first year I saw this pattern of being nice that she had developed through her life and how it was destroying her emotionally and spiritually. She would come home from work upset with her boss because they had asked her to do something and she had told them "Yes", but because there wasn't enough time to do it during the day she would have to go back at night to finish. Her "friends" had discovered this weakness about her and believe me they took full advantage her. Asking her to run errands for them, or worse they would ask to borrow money, which they never paid back, and though she would be very upset with them, she continued to do it and they just kept on abusing her to the point she would come home sometimes so mad she couldn't see straight. I had been telling her for years, "Just Say No" but she was always afraid that she might make someone unhappy if she did. I tried to explain to her that they might be at first a little upset because she had programmed them to hear a "yes", but they would get over it once she explained why she couldn't and at the same time would relieve all the stress she was putting on herself and she would be much happier. She always heard me, but she would never listen to me and to this day she still does it. Even though I'm 13 years older than her I feel like she didn't think I knew what I was talking about. You know as well as I do that you can tell someone only for so long how to correct something before you finally give up. After ten years I gave up and it finally drove us apart. I printed out a copy of your advice to give to her so that she would see that what I had been telling all these years was not just my thoughts or opinions but is reality. I don't know if anyone will see and read this but I feel alot better getting this off my chest. Yes, "nice is nice" but for some people it can be like and addictive drug and my ex, if you were to ask her what might favorite quote is she would tell you that it is "JUST SAY NO". Thanks again for helping me vent.
Which city and country are you writing from? mississauga, on Comments: Hi, Bruno, I love your column and I beg to defer. Regarding today's topic. I am one of those people who is not able to say no; and it has not done much damage to me. On the contrary, it has brought me a lot ot satisfaction and happiness that I did for a person what others could not do. I feel it has given me a lot of practice in being there for another "unconditionally". And really, I never feel that the person asking me, is taking advantage of me, be it my spouse, child, relative, friend or an acquantance. I am sure I have said NO several times, but I do not remember when. So, thinking that you are being taken advantage of when someone asks for a favor, is all in your mind. I feel that when someone asks you, they have not set out to take advantage of you. They ask of you because they feel comfortable with you. I love reading from you, and find what you say very helpful. :)
Which city and country are you writing from? Toronto, Canada Comments: Your Minute tells the story of most of my Life! I was not able to say "no", because I was raised to do whatever was asked of me, I was capable and strong. It took me many years of trying to gather the courage to say "no and not at my Expense", regardless if I was not liked anymore! To my surprise my Life changed for the better, I can now choose who do favors for, and I am looking out for myself without guilt. The Lesson here really is we are mentally and physically happier, when we choose to do whatever is right for us! Keep up the good work, Bruno!
Which city and country are you writing from? PSL, FL Comments: Hello Bruno I really agree with this one cause I have a real problem saying NO especially when I don't have it to loan and even when I don't want to do it.... People have a way of making me feel bad if I say NO!
Which city and country are you writing from? Aiea, Hawaii Comments: Thank you Bruno. Your emails inspire me every week. What does one do when, most of the time, you're angry with yourself?
Which city and country are you writing from? Nisswa, MN USA Comments: "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Eleanor Roosevelt. This is a very important idea, I think. And it takes self control to remind yourself of it. If we do, however, the anger, which often leads to violence, cannot escalate. God bless.
Which city and country are you writing from? usa Comments: I HAVE RECENTLY NOTICED THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO,WHEN SEEING ME FACE A SITUATION...ARE ACTUALLY DISAPPOINTED WHEN I DON'T HAVE A BAD REACTION TO THE SITUATION..AND THEN ACTUALLY PRODE ME TO AGGRIVATION BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE THIER SET THOUGHT OR HOPE ME ACTING OR FEELING BADLY. KINDA SOMTHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND MUCH. BUT LIFE AND A POSITIVE ATTITUDE WILL PREVAIL REGUARDLESS.
Which city and country are you writing from? Placer Comments: When in raged over other obstacles in your daily life by not excepting outside negative energies you will then remain calm submissive in your own natural way. Therefore what you pull in from the outside if negative will create more negativity in that moment and all havoc reaps, this is why we have Wars and protest etc. If one irritates you while driving, what gets to them most is when you ignore them, once they perceive your not going to act in the misery loves company syndrome they back off or find another who they can exploit their behavior.
Which city and country are you writing from? Thokoza-Alberton,Gauteng-South Africa Comments: I should have died yesterday. My cousin brother and his wife had a fight on Christmas day.The wife and kids left to the wife's parental home.Some of the kids would come to my house for food and the little help here and there.On the 10th January my so said cousin's brother confronted me, accused me of having an affair with his brother's wife. He nearly ran me over with his car. Later he apologized. But yesterday morning he came again wanted to talk. He gave me a lift to work only for him and his friend pushing me out of a moving car and wanted to step or shoot me. Thank God I survived. I was mad, very angry and hurting. But today I woke up,asked myself if the anger is worthy. I decided to get over the anger but take action. I am going to apply for an interdict and let the law take it's course. Yes I was angry but had to decide not to let myself be the prisoner. So I am over it and it feels good, but yes I am taking action to protect my life. Thank you again for another enlightening subject.
Which city and country are you writing from? Buffalo Grove, Illinois Comments: Thanks for the insightful commentary on anger. My Dad, the late Sidney Bolon, wrote the following original quotes on this subject: For those impatient drivers who honk at others (honker): "If you worry about missing the boat, remember the Titanic!" For those drivers who are honked at (honkee): "You won't get ahead of your opponents by trying to get even." "If you think you are as right as rain, you could be all wet."
Which city and country are you writing from? Guayaquil, Ecuador Comments: The cool way to deal with angry, impolite people, is to make them suffer even more by simply ignoring them. |
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